Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | Paid | My Orble | Login

Cat food

December 20th 2010 04:38
cat tongue
Message for Scratchy

DOG NEWS: Presented by Daisy and Scratchy

Daisy: A man has appeared in a court in New York facing animal cruelty charges. It is alleged he tried to marinate his cat so he could eat it.

Scratchy: Tell me more.

Daisy: The cat was found in the boot of a car being driven Gary Korkuc, of Cheektowaga, New York, when police pulled him over for running a stop sign.

Scratchy: No, I mean tell me more about the marinade.

Daisy: Scratchy, this is a story about cruelty to animals. This man not only planned to eat his cat, he was guilty of cruel and repulsive forethought through planning to marinate the poor thing.

Scratchy: Olive oil, no doubt. There are questions over the quantity of garlic and whether or not to use chilli. Lemon zest would also be interesting.

Daisy: You're as disgusting as he is. For your information, the cat was unharmed and was adopted almost instantly following the incident.

Scratchy: What are the penalties for animal cruelty? It's cruel how much Big Boss underfeeds me.


36
Vote
   


Friendship: found and lost

November 12th 2010 10:56
pet dog greyhound scratchy cat
Miles and Alice

LETTER TO CLYDE
Mate, I've never told anyone this, but I want a friend like Mile's friend Alice in the photo above.

I know they're called cats, but I didn't know that when I first came to live with the Bosses. I learned one day when a plumber visiting the house left the gate open and I ran through it like a firecracker with a vindaloo hangover.

Big Boss screamed and ran after me but I just sprinted down the road and around the corner. And that's when I saw it - a rabbit, only different.

Of course I picked up speed and went after it, and it took off when it saw me, and it disappeared into a driveway, but I was right on it and turned in behind, and found I had to stop in a hurry, because it had stopped too, and there it was, right in front of me.

Face to face.

It was a dead end, you see, a short driveway ending in a garage, door closed. Cornered. Nowhere to go.

I came to a halt a couple of toe-nail lengths from the cat. We eyeballed. I considered what to do. And then - and I am not making this up, Clyde - that cat inflated itself.

How do cats do that? It was amazing. That cat finished up three times its size.

I was still trying to work out what to do when the Big Boss arrived. He came squelching (okay, that's not an accurate word, but when humans run, for some reason, that's the word that comes to my mind) around the corner, took a quick look, and broke into a huge laugh, grabbing my collar at the same time.

Inflated cat; deflated Scratchy.

He's been telling the story to visitors ever since. "The time Scratchy caught the cat and didn't know what to do with it," he always starts.

It's through that story that I learned they are called cats. The thing is, I did know what I wanted to do with that cornered cat. I wanted to do what Miles is doing in the picture, and what you used to do with the cat you knew.

I wanted to be best friends.

Wags and stuff,
Scratchy
80
Vote
   


Chris Champion's Blogs

11032 Vote(s)
758 Comment(s)
121 Post(s)
4339 Vote(s)
33 Comment(s)
39 Post(s)
5501 Vote(s)
197 Comment(s)
72 Post(s)
3761 Vote(s)
208 Comment(s)
44 Post(s)
24448 Vote(s)
1007 Comment(s)
302 Post(s)
Moderated by Chris Champion
Copyright © 2012 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]