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Daisy's diary: Today's news is ...

June 23rd 2010 10:28

There was an especially informative patch of grass as we were walking this morning. Two cats, seven dogs and a mouse had left their mark there in the past 24 hours.

I was still gathering information when Big Boss, in one of those inexplicable hooman reactions, said irritably, "Can you tell the colour of the dog whose pee you're sniffing?"

It's what hoomans call sarcasm. He does it because he thinks morning walks are for walking. He doesn't understand that they are actually for news gathering.

Of course I never take any notice of his grumbling. I know that his bark is worse than his grumble.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Dog Diaries, Daisy

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Daisy's diary: Sleep approbation

April 15th 2010 12:27

The point I would like to make, a point that I don't think, generally, has received sufficient attention, is that, in certain light, I look much younger than I am.

In fact, in all modesty, I suggest that my good looks are another point which, in the greater greyhound world, have not received sufficient attention.

Don't ask me how I do it. Good genes, probably. And plenty of sleep.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Dog Diaries, Daisy, Pampered pooches

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Daisy's diary: An old dog and a strange story

March 13th 2010 20:15

He was a strange-looking greyhound, especially with those funny tufts of hair on his ears and elbows.

I just met a strange old greyhound in the park who had some weird ideas about history and the Lore of the Great Greyhounds.

The Lore, of course, is the great guide to our breed, passed on to all puppies by their mothers in the first weeks of life. It hasn't changed for generations. It teaches us about the grace and gentleness which are at the core of our physical beings. And it teaches us about the unconditional love we offer to all creatures, even less advanced ones like hoomans, and excepting only anything small, fluffy and moving.

This is at the heart of our spiritual being.

The Lore teaches about the greatest of all the Great Greyhounds, the First Greyhounds, the Mothers and Fathers of our breed who arrived on Earth in 1912 from parts unknown. They came in the company of the Great Hare, also known as The Uncatchable. GH installed himself on Earth's first Running Rail, gathered the Greyhounds and the hoomans around him, and said, "Catch me if you can."

"Okay!" said the Greyhounds.

"We'd rather watch and drink beer," said the hoomans.

And so the world as we know it came to be.

But the silly old Greyhound in the park had an entirely different story. The Great Hare, he said, was invented in 1912 by a hooman named Owen Patrick Smith and was not a being from the cosmos at all. What's more, he said Greyhounds are far more ancient than the Lore tells us, having been around for at least 3,000 years, and being closely related by blood to Salukis, Earth's most venerable dog breed.

Salukis, said the old Grey, have been around for about 8,000 years, are possibly the first dog breed to diverge from wolves, and generally consider themselves the best-looking creatures in the known universe. They are also rumoured to be able to run just as fast as greyhounds but, like hoomans, they refuse to chase the Great Hare. They don't drink beer, though.

What a strange story. I don't believe it, of course, and I have never even seen a Saluki. I guess they are just a product of the old dog's vivid imagination, or a wandering old mind. Still, the picture he painted made me wonder what a real Saluki might look like.

The old guy didn't quite look like a Greyhound, in fact, and with that slightly distant and faintly superior manner, he didn't quite act like one either.

Thinking about it, I really like the old guy's story. Wouldn't it be nice if his version were right.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Saluki, Dog Diaries, Daisy, History

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Daisy's diary: mixed signals

August 13th 2009 22:59

That Big Boof Scratchy called me vain this morning. That is so hurtful!

All I was doing was looking in the mirror to see if my whiskers were straight. I have this fear of bending a whisker while I sleep, so that when I wake it stands out at a right angle.

It happened to my mum once, and she had an awful time negotiating her way through tight spaces for a while. Her whisker signals kept telling her to turn in circles when she needed to turn left.

Luckily, it straightened out after a couple of days.

I wish the Big Boof would straighten himself out.

Huh? What did I do now?

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Daisy

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Daisy's diary: the two-nose strategy

July 14th 2009 01:08

The back door to the house is closed and I need to go to the little girl's lawn. Big Boss is working in the study so I have to get him to open the door for me.

In the study, he's tapping away at the keyboard when I give him a prod to the knee with my nose. His right hand reaches down and gives my left ear a scratch, and then returns to the keyboard. He hasn't understood.

I give him another nose-nudge, and am rewarded with another quick ear scratch. Big Boss sure knows how to focus on his work.

I give him a third, more insistent nudge. Big Boss stops typing, looks at me, then bends down and gives me a huge hug. "Lovely girl," he says, and returns to typing.

I once heard someone say that it helps to cross your legs when you need to pee, but I tried and it doesn't work for dogs. I need to think of something else.

I trot back to the living room and over to the sofa where Scratchy is dreaming about food. "Hey, doofus," I say. He lifts his head and looks at me moronically. I can see him considering his response. He finally settles for, "Huh?"

"We have a back-door problem," I say. "Come with me and do the two-nose thing."

This is an old trick, well-known to dogs. It only works if you can find some bare human skin, but luckily Big Boss is wearing shorts. "One, two, three," I say to Scratchy, and together we push our noses into his thigh.

Big Boss jumps, looks at us, gets the message and heads off to open the door.

It just proves the old adage, two noses are wetter than one.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Daisy

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