Trouble in Arkansas
April 1st 2011 01:47
Scratchy: I don't know. On the other side of the railway track?
Daisy: No, goofball, it's a long way away.
Scratchy: Past the dog park?
Daisy: Way further than that, you worm-filled weimaraner. I reckon it's actually on the other side of Melbourne.
Scratchy: Worm-filled weimaraner? Anyway, why do you ask?
Daisy: Because it said on the news that all the dogs and cats in a town called Greenwood in Arkansas have been put in pens and are allowed out only if they are muzzled and on a lead.
Scratchy: The town's full of racing greyhounds?
Daisy: No, it's full of rabid skunks.
Scratchy: I'm not following you.
Daisy: What else is new? Six skunks caught recently in the town were all carrying rabies. Authorities have ordered all skunks be shot on sight, and all other animals kept quarantined unless, as I said, muzzled and on a lead.
Scratchy: I'd like to see a muzzled cat on a lead. What's a skunk, anyway? Is it edible?
Daisy: Normally, no, not even you would want to eat a skunk. In this particular case, doubly no.
Scratchy: Big Boss once said I'd eat a black hole if you sprinkled some salt on it - which is wrong, by the way, because I wouldn't need salt. So aren't you underestimating my world-renowned ability to eat anything?
Daisy: Let me tell you a little about rabies, Scratchy. It is a virus that lives in the saliva of host animals, which it attacks via the brain and spinal cord. The consequences are convulsions, choking, frothing at the mouth, paralysis and, quite often, death.
Scratchy: Oh. Maybe not, then. I’m glad Arkansas is on the other side of Melbourne. How long ‘til dinner?
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