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Areas of uncertainty

November 28th 2010 06:57
scratchy greyhound zoomies
Is that an edible camera?

The petrix.com Dog IQ Ranking List rates greyhounds at number 77.

Petrix.com, when it compiled this list, did not use Scratchy as its greyhound breed representative. If it had, the reputation of greyhounds in terms of natural intelligence would have suffered greatly in all areas except that of food foraging.

Which leads us to the subject of doors. This is the one area in which Scratchy is brighter than Daisy. Scratchy knows how to open a door which is ajar - with a prod of the nose from one side and, more impressively, a deft flick of the chin from the other side. He even knows how to test a closed door by leaning on it.

Daisy thinks doors are things humans go through for all sorts of reasons, and which are closed to prevent her from jumping on the bed. Scratchy thinks doors are a world of opportunity in that, being opaque, one can not be certain there isn't food on the other side until one checks.

Regularly.

If petrix.com had judged greyhound intelligence solely on Scratchy's door-opening capabilities, greyhounds would rank well ahead of border collies and just behind burglars.

Not that Scratchy cares. He's too busy leaving no door unopened in his search for food. He scoffs at the idea that windows have any meaningful relationship with opportunity. His world contains only doors of opportunity.

When it comes to acts of calculation, Scratchy knows to think not with his heart, but with his stomach.






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Catching up on canine intelligence

September 10th 2010 11:33
border collie puppy
Border collie puppy: When I grow up, I want to be a wabbit.
Rabbit: It's rabbit, actually. And no, you don't. You want to grow up to be that most esteemed of all dog breeds, a border collie.

A new study into the relative intelligence of dog breeds, conducted by a veterinarian and supported by a veterinary products supplier, has received press coverage after it determined that the most intelligent breed of dog is - wait for it - the border collie.

Other breeds in the top 10 were - wait for it - the poodle, German shepherd and golden retriever.

So much new and exciting information here.

The study was, according to the press reports, done by Australian vet Mark Perissinotto, and was "based on his experience".

And it was, according to the press reports, commissioned by vet supplier vetshopaustralia.com. If you go to their web page in an attempt to find a full list, or at least the rest of the top 10, you will be disappointed because there is no sign of it.

If you are interested in a complete list, Zoomies offered one more than two years ago. You can read it here.

poodle puppies
Poodle puppy 1: When I grow up I wish to be a poodle magnifique.
Poodle puppy 2: Oui, me too.
Poodle puppy 1: We will prance, we will dance ...
Poodle puppy 2: Oui, chic to chic.

german shepherd puppies
German shepherd puppy 1: When I grow up, I want to be live with a big family and be a fierce and ferocious protector of person and property, loyal and obedient and yet reliable in a crisis to act individually and proactively according to the highest ideals of our noble and ...
German shepherd puppy 2: Oh, shut up.

golden retriever puppies
Golden retriever puppy 1: When we grow up, we want to be golden retrievers, and all that that means.
Golden retriever puppy 2: What does that mean?
Golden retriever puppy 3: It means loving everybody and everything, all the time, without fear, favour or hesitation.
Golden retriever puppy 2: Oh yeah, I knew that.



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Lost in translation

February 9th 2009 21:40
dog greyhound kitchen
'The line is here.' 'No, way, it's over here.'

Daisy understands English better than Scratchy.

This is clear from the rule that the dogs are not allowed into the kitchen. In our house, the kitchen is part of an open living area, so enforcing the rule is tricky as it applies not to a doorway but to an invisible line at either end of the island bench.

The dogs know they must not cross that line and enter the cooking area. However, like a glacier, the line moves forward with slow but steadfast resolve, and geographical restatement is periodically required.

I have chosen the word "back" to do the job. "Back, Daze!" rarely requires elaboration, and Daisy retreats to the original line of scrimmage.

It just doesn't seem to work the same way for Scratchy, however. Every time I say, "Back, Scratch!" the daft dog moves forward with an expectant shimmy, looking for all the world like he is going to get a pat.

He doesn't understand plain English.

dog greyhound kitchen
'Are you coming?' 'No, I'm waiting for a back scratch.'


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Doggy IQ ranking list

August 7th 2008 06:18
border collie
Who me? Yes, dear border collie, you are the most intelligent of all dog breeds

It quickly becomes apparent, in researching canine intelligence, that there is little precise knowledge. No-one is claiming any high degree of accuracy in comparative canine rankings, so please be warned: any bragging rights based on the following list are flimsy at best.

Canine IQ testing, as Myrna Milani writes here, suffers from all the limitations of intelligence tests for humans, plus a few more. When it comes to testing another species, the best we can do is measure what we think an intelligent dog should know.

Consider this: do you believe dogs think? And if so, do you think they think the same way humans do? The fact is that there is as much debate as agreement on these questions, reinforcing the warning that the IQ list should not be taken too seriously.

Milani also offers an interesting set of four exercises you can give your own dog to judge brain power:

... Throw a towel over your dog’s head and time how long it takes him to free himself. An average may be 15 to 20 seconds
... Place three paper cups upside down on the floor, three feet apart. Allow your dog to see you place a treat under one of them. Lead her into another room for about 30 seconds and then see if she can go to the right cup the first time
... Cut a piece of sausage in half so that it has a flat side. Place it just under the edge of the sofa. Time how long it takes him to get it out. An average may be around 60 seconds
... Take your dog outside the yard on a long leash and walk along the fence several feet from the gate which you will leave open. Toss a treat back over the fence. See if she figures out to go back around through the gate to get the treat

I decided to test my greyhound Scratchy. I threw a towel over his head, and he went to sleep. When he wakes up, I'll try the other three tests.

All this admirable adherence to qualitative legitimacy should, of course, be chucked out the window when pointing out to your best mate that his much-loved Boston terrier comes in 32 rungs lower on the doggy IQ ranking list than your Bedlington.

Similarly, the fact that the Welsh springer spaniel, at No. 40, can claim bragging rights over the 41st-ranked Manchester terrier should not lead to a border war. To any Welsh native silly enough to claim some sort of superiority from this, or from the fact that they have the Pembroke Welsh corgi way up there at No. 11, I would point out, in the interests of maturity, objectivity and plain common sense, that the Australian cattle dog comes in at No. 10. So ha!

Further evidence that the IQ list is not to be relied on can be found in the fact that the same web site which publishes it offers a list of 2,000 dog names. What sort of inspiration-challenged troglodyte would read a list of dog names? Anyway, while having a good look, I stumbled across "Sambuca". That's not a name for a dog! Sambuca is a substance which is responsible for rearranging many of my brain cells over many years. Drink enough of that stuff and you will start to believe all sorts of silly things, such as that your dog is more intelligent than mine.

Some years ago I had a friend who had a German shepherd which had failed police dog school because she wasn't aggressive enough. When this happens, the dogs are adopted out, and there is no shortage of takers for such highly trained animals. But I wonder if my friend knew that, in theory at least, he was getting a dumb German shepherd. Police dogs can also be failed for being too aggressive, and these vicious creatures are actually the bright ones. What can happen is that some dogs, when being taught techniques to stop fleeing suspects (wrap those teeth around a forearm), work out that there are quicker ways to bring down their prey. Dogs who learn to grab a forearm are invited to make a fulfilling career in the police force. Those who are smart enough to figure out that biting a sleeve is not really hurting the enemy, and that maybe the neck is a more sensible target, are considered too bright for police work.

It's not clear what happens to these dogs. Personally, I think they'd be admirably suited to a career in politics.

According to petrix.com, where I found the canine IQ list, there are three types of dog intelligence. Two of them, adaptive intelligence and instinctive intelligence, are specific to individual animals. The third type, working/obedience intelligence, is breed dependent. You can find the full list here. I have included all dogs considered average or above in working/obedience intelligence.

Rank Breed
1 Border Collie
2 Poodle
3 German Shepherd
4 Golden Retriever
5 Doberman Pinscher
6 Shetland Sheepdog
7 Labrador Retriever
8 Papillon
9 Rottweiler
10 Australian Cattle Dog
11 Pembroke Welsh Corgi
12 Miniature Schnauzer
13 English Springer Spaniel
14 Belgian Tervuren
15 Schipperke, Belgian Sheepdog
17 Collie, Keeshond
19 German Shorthaired Pointer
20 Flat-Coated Retriever, English Cocker Spaniel, Standard Schnauzer
23 Brittany
24 Cocker Spaniel
25 Weimaraner
26 Belgian Malinois, Bernese Mountain Dog
28 Pomeranian
29 Irish Water Spaniel
30 Vizsla
31 Cardigan Welsh Corgi
32 Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Puli, Yorkshire Terrier
35 Giant Schnauzer
36 Airedale Terrier, Bouvier Des Flandres
38 Border Terrier, Briard
40 Welsh Springer Spaniel
41 Manchester Terrier
42 Samoyed
43 Field Spaniel, Newfoundland, Australian Terrier, American Staffordshire Terrier, Gordon Setter, Bearded Collie
49 Cairn Terrier, Kerry Blue Terrier, Irish Setter
52 Norwegian Elkhound
53 Affenpincher, Silky Terrier, Miniature Pinscher, English Setter, Pharaoh Hound, Clumber Spaniel
59 Norwich Terrier
60 Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier, Bedlington Terrier, Smooth Fox Terrier
63 Curly-Coated Retriever, Irish Wolfhound
65 Kuvasz, Australian Shepherd
67 Saluki, Finnish Spitz, Pointer
70 Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, German Wirehaired Pointer, Black & Tan Coonhound, American Water Spaniel
74 Siberian Husky, Bichon Frise, English Toy Spaniel
77 Tibetan Spaniel, English Foxhound, Otterhound, American Foxhound, Greyhound, Wirehaired Pointing Griffon
83 West Highland White Terrier, Scottish Deerhound
85 Boxer, Great Dane
87 Dachshund, Stafforshire Bull Terrier
89 Alaskan Malamute
90 Whippet, Chinese Shar-pei, Wire Fox Terrier
93 Rhodesian Ridgeback
94 Ibizan Hound, Welsh Terrier, Irish Terrier
97 Boston Terrier, Akita

Sources: petrix.com/dogint, mmilani.com, dog-training.suite101.com
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