Read + Write + Report
Home | Start a blog | About Orble | FAQ | Blogs | Writers | My Orble | Login
saluki
He was a strange-looking greyhound, especially with those funny tufts of hair on his ears and elbows.

I just met a strange old greyhound in the park who had some weird ideas about history and the Lore of the Great Greyhounds.

The Lore, of course, is the great guide to our breed, passed on to all puppies by their mothers in the first weeks of life. It hasn't changed for generations. It teaches us about the grace and gentleness which are at the core of our physical beings. And it teaches us about the unconditional love we offer to all creatures, even less advanced ones like hoomans, and excepting only anything small, fluffy and moving.

This is at the heart of our spiritual being.

The Lore teaches about the greatest of all the Great Greyhounds, the First Greyhounds, the Mothers and Fathers of our breed who arrived on Earth in 1912 from parts unknown. They came in the company of the Great Hare, also known as The Uncatchable. GH installed himself on Earth's first Running Rail, gathered the Greyhounds and the hoomans around him, and said, "Catch me if you can."

"Okay!" said the Greyhounds.

"We'd rather watch and drink beer," said the hoomans.

And so the world as we know it came to be.

But the silly old Greyhound in the park had an entirely different story. The Great Hare, he said, was invented in 1912 by a hooman named Owen Patrick Smith and was not a being from the cosmos at all. What's more, he said Greyhounds are far more ancient than the Lore tells us, having been around for at least 3,000 years, and being closely related by blood to Salukis, Earth's most venerable dog breed.

Salukis, said the old Grey, have been around for about 8,000 years, are possibly the first dog breed to diverge from wolves, and generally consider themselves the best-looking creatures in the known universe. They are also rumoured to be able to run just as fast as greyhounds but, like hoomans, they refuse to chase the Great Hare. They don't drink beer, though.

What a strange story. I don't believe it, of course, and I have never even seen a Saluki. I guess they are just a product of the old dog's vivid imagination, or a wandering old mind. Still, the picture he painted made me wonder what a real Saluki might look like.

The old guy didn't quite look like a Greyhound, in fact, and with that slightly distant and faintly superior manner, he didn't quite act like one either.
greyhound, daisy
Thinking about it, I really like the old guy's story. Wouldn't it be nice if his version were right.

10
Vote
   


Daisy's diary: mixed signals

August 13th 2009 22:59
pets dogs greyhounds daisy

That Big Boof Scratchy called me vain this morning. That is so hurtful!

All I was doing was looking in the mirror to see if my whiskers were straight. I have this fear of bending a whisker while I sleep, so that when I wake it stands out at a right angle.

It happened to my mum once, and she had an awful time negotiating her way through tight spaces for a while. Her whisker signals kept telling her to turn in circles when she needed to turn left.

Luckily, it straightened out after a couple of days.

I wish the Big Boof would straighten himself out.

pets dogs greyhounds daisy scratchy
Huh? What did I do now?


47
Vote
   


pets dogs greyhounds

The back door to the house is closed and I need to go to the little girl's lawn. Big Boss is working in the study so I have to get him to open the door for me.

In the study, he's tapping away at the keyboard when I give him a prod to the knee with my nose. His right hand reaches down and gives my left ear a scratch, and then returns to the keyboard. He hasn't understood.

I give him another nose-nudge, and am rewarded with another quick ear scratch. Big Boss sure knows how to focus on his work.

I give him a third, more insistent nudge. Big Boss stops typing, looks at me, then bends down and gives me a huge hug. "Lovely girl," he says, and returns to typing.

I once heard someone say that it helps to cross your legs when you need to pee, but I tried and it doesn't work for dogs. I need to think of something else.

I trot back to the living room and over to the sofa where Scratchy is dreaming about food. "Hey, doofus," I say. He lifts his head and looks at me moronically. I can see him considering his response. He finally settles for, "Huh?"

"We have a back-door problem," I say. "Come with me and do the two-nose thing."

This is an old trick, well-known to dogs. It only works if you can find some bare human skin, but luckily Big Boss is wearing shorts. "One, two, three," I say to Scratchy, and together we push our noses into his thigh.

Big Boss jumps, looks at us, gets the message and heads off to open the door.

It just proves the old adage, two noses are wetter than one.



46
Vote
   


greyhound gallopade

The Little Boss disappeared for a while. Five times when Big Boss opened the bedroom door in the morning and I ran in with Big Brindle, there was no Little Boss in the bed. It was awful — we just stopped and stared at the empty bed looking puzzled.

Big Boss thought it was funny, but we felt really sad!

And then, just when we were starting to get used to the idea, Big Boss went out in the car yesterday morning and came back with Little Boss and a heap of luggage.

She gave us huge hugs and I wagged my tail so hard I thought it would fall off and everything seemed okay again but then Little Boss went to bed — saying something about jet lag and intending to sleep for a week.

That's when I decided to do a Greyhound Gallopade.

Big Boss, who was sitting in a chair watching television, hadn't seen a Greyhound Gallopade before. Well, of course he hadn't — very few humans have. But I was so happy about Little Boss coming home that I decided the Ancient Greyhound Gallopade Performing Code would agree a performance was merited.

It goes like this. First, I did a little shimmy and then a shake on the rug, then I jumped on the sofa and did three quick pirouettes. Then I flipped on my back and shimmied again, which makes all four paws fly around wildly (hard part to master, that one). Then it was up for three more pirouettes, flop again for a second back shimmy, then up and off the sofa.

I stood in front of the Big Boss, expecting him to acknowledge the privilege of being allowed to observe the rarely performed Greyhound Gallopade, but he just looked at me with his mouth open.

Sometimes, I don't understand my humans.

36
Vote
   


Daisy's diary: on gardening

April 23rd 2009 23:27
dog gardening

It is on sunny days, like last weekend, that the difference between dogs and their humans is most apparent.

When it's sunny, as any dog knows, it's Vitamin D time. This essential ingredient in the recipe of life is formed in the skin when it is exposed to sunlight. It helps absorb calcium, which is needed for healthy bones

As you can see, I am an expert on Vitamin D. The D, by the way, stands for dog.

But back to last weekend. Would you believe that, with all that sunshine around, Little Boss decided against maximising her Vitamin D intake and instead chose to garden.

dog gardening

Gardening is something our humans like to do. Well, Little Boss does. Big Boss is always, quite rightly, in the study writing about me. Anyway, we think gardening is an instinctive human activity. It involves a lot of scrabbling around in dirt — a sort of elaborate poo-covering ritual. Possibly pagan.

So for all those humans out there wondering exactly how they should maximise Vitamin D intake on sunny days, I've decided to offer a pictorial guide.

dog gardening

dog gardening

May your bones be always healthy.

dog gardening


34
Vote
   


Chris Champion's Blogs

6945 Vote(s)
654 Comment(s)
86 Post(s)
148 Vote(s)
10 Comment(s)
4 Post(s)
2908 Vote(s)
178 Comment(s)
47 Post(s)
2395 Vote(s)
165 Comment(s)
32 Post(s)
12273 Vote(s)
765 Comment(s)
199 Post(s)
782 Vote(s)
20 Comment(s)
16 Post(s)
Moderated by Chris Champion
Copyright © 2006 2007 2008 On Topic Media PTY LTD. All Rights Reserved. Design by Vimu.com.
On Topic Media ZPages: Sydney |  Melbourne |  Brisbane |  London |  Birmingham |  Leeds     [ Advertise ] [ Contact Us ] [ Privacy Policy ]