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Dinner dance

May 9th 2009 02:06
pets dogs greyhounds

Normally inseparable, Scratchy and Daisy separate on cue every evening. Scratchy waltzes out the back door while Daisy stays rooted to the sofa, only her soft brown eyes showing a hint of impatience. Every night, she seems to say, I have to go second.

Outside, Scratchy is fed. He goes first because he eats at the speed of some of the more aerodynamic particles of light.

As soon as he is finished — in about the time it takes me to straighten up after placing his bowl on the ground — the sliding back door is opened, Daisy chassés outside, Scratchy mazurkas inside, and the bowl is refilled.

Daisy eats at the speed of old forest growth. She takes one pellet of food at a time and chews it for an hour or two before swallowing daintily. She then has a drink, performs a pas de deux with the port wine magnolia, and returns to square one for another nibble. Daylight wanes, the moon rises, seasons pass and Daisy eats on, methodical mastication at its most determined.

When she is finally finished, I carefully remove the moss and the occasional mushroom which has grown between her toes, and slide open the back door again.

Daisy shimmies inside and Scratchy salsas back out, doing the dance of eternal hope that Daisy has left a morsel or two for him to siphon from the bowl.

Then he too comes back into the warmth of the living room and settles on to the sofa for a relaxing evening of sleep.

The dinner dance is over for another day.

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9 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Zeus

May 9th 2009 05:51
Eating quickly is the proper thing to do, girls are to dainty for their own good. Really, scarfing one's food is the way to go, you get better burps that way. Zeus

Comment by Chris Champion

May 10th 2009 06:42
Hi Zeus, I've noticed that quick eating also considerably improves fart pungency. Important, that.

Comment by zeus

May 11th 2009 03:03
Yes indeed it does, except mom now puts something in our food that cuts down on the fart index, I haven't figured out how not to eat it since it's sprinkled around and mixed in...

I miss my nightly farts, you know the big ones that wake up everyone?1

Comment by Heidi/Clyde

May 11th 2009 10:35
Geeze you blokes, Heidi telld me yer city slickers dus things nice, she ses my burps is uncooth, an yer goes around braggin abaht farts! Ut our place ther Missus stacks on an act if we bogs in before she tells us we can. I allus gets first go cos I'm slow as a wet week. Heidi goes next, she makes out she couldn' care less but she's in like Flynn once ther Missus feeds ther foster dog. They allus has ter go last, good thing too I ses. We all eat tergether an I'm allus last ter finish. I'm gunna get ther Missus ter swap Heidi fer Daisy, we'd get on real good I reckon. Trouble is ther Boss ud stack on an act. He thinks Heidi's ther ants pants!
Clyde.

Comment by Chris Champion

May 11th 2009 10:43
Zeus, snort at your food a couple of times hard. Might clear the fun-spoiling crap out of the bowl.

Clyde, I don't know how to break this to you gently, but Heidi doesn't know everything. Farting is uncooth, but only for hoomans. For dogs, it's against the Ancient Code of Malodorous Endeavour not to fart. Extra points for loud ones. Maximum points for room clearers.

Comment by Heidi/Clyde

May 12th 2009 03:28
Tyson ther foster hound ud be tops, he stole a bag uv liver treats last night, he's as ripe as er dunnie budgie terduy! Dun tell me mate Heidi that abaht not knowin' everythin' she thinks she's Christmas on er stick half ther time, cums uv bein' a hairy goat on ther track. Yer've got no form ter boast abaht.

Comment by Chris Champion

May 12th 2009 03:33
Sounds like Tyson packs a punch. Go Tyson! Is a dunnie budgie like a dunnie duck?


Comment by zeus

May 12th 2009 03:41
I don't know a dunnie budgie or a dunnie duck but if they're good to eat I'll try 'em, even if they aren't good I'll try 'em.

Mom says I'm her garbage gut with a sensitive tummy. Can you imagine? Not sensitive just like to get rid of stuff anyway I can, you know... farts, burps, extra big piles in the back yard, the occasional barf, whatever it takes to make Mom and Roux go "ewww," girls are so funny.

Tyson I do have some trouble with your accent, but I'm trying to learn it. I think Heidi is a hoot, girls are so bossy and so wrong most of the time, but you can't tell them anything, can you?

Comment by Heidi/Clyde

May 12th 2009 15:09
Geeze Zeus, Get it right, It's Clyde whot writes ter the GAPSA newsletter an' that. Tyson's just a foster hound, bin with us er week now an beginnin' ter learn ther ropes.

Heidi allus sed ther city blokes dun know much abaht bush lingo, a dunny budgie's one uv them things thut hoomans do ther Barcoo salute at, ut's a bloomin' big blowfly. Ther missus ses they dun stink, they do when they've bin ut er flyblown sheep but. Nanna Goose use'ter catch 'em an crunch 'em up sos I reckon yer could try 'em all right. I dun know abaht a dunny duck, I know Heidi were a blue duck on ther track, they thought she'd be a goer an she were just a fizzer.

D'yer want ter see ther documentary abaht us? Ut's on ther GAPSA web site <www.gapsa.org.au> Thut Mick goes on abaht me, Heidi's laughin' so hard I cn'ardly hear whut he ses. Ther missus thought ut wus Mick's family with him but it were other trainers. I wer everyone's pet on ther track.

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