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Dog accessories - Zoomies

The cushion plotters and the pooch index

May 5th 2010 03:26

Life has been complicated here of late, and I am blaming certain “fans” of this blog who suggested that Scratchy, convalescing with a broken leg, would enjoy the comforts of a heated dog cushion.

“Yes!” barked Scratchy.

“I demand one too!” barked Daisy. “In two-toned sepia shades, stripes on one side and closely-spaced polka dots on …”

“Shut up!” barked Scratchy.

The intentions of these blog fans, whom we shall identify only by their first (okay, only) names of Heidi and Clyde, may have been caring and honourable, but my simple refusal to acquiesce has led to Daisy sulking and Scratchy giving me long, cold stares which suggest I am a manic plotter of mass exterminations of sentient beings.

All of which leads to the news, published in local media today, that Australians spend an average A$2,452 a year on “pet luxuries”, or more than $25,000 over the life of a pet.

The figure, which comes from latest annual Family Pooch Index published by Bankwest, includes all food, but it is still astonishing. The second-biggest item, veterinary outlays, came in at an average $450 a year.

No doubt the dogs will claim it is as statistical support for their demands, but I’m not giving in on the heated cushions.

images: wooforlando.com, thesun.co.uk, images.businessweek.com, www.zimbio.com

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Dog accessories, News, Pampered pooches, Pet issues

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Daisy's Diary: The Scratching Seat

May 3rd 2010 07:31

One of our Scratching Seats, seen through the walls of the noisy water machine space

Hooman beings are slow creatures with poor eyesight and a non-existent sense of smell. They don't bark or whine and they smell funny because they don't lick themselves frequently enough. Worst of all, they have dry noses.

They invented dog food, it is true, but this is a poor substitute for fresh gazelle from the bone, caught after the thrill of a chase through ancient grassland and forests with unpolluted breezes under clear skies and ... but I digress.

Hooman beings have invented just three truly useful things: the plastic bucket, which thoroughly beats a gazelle pee-tainted puddle for drinking out of; cushions, which are the greatest luxuy in the known universe; and the Scratching Seat.

In our home, there are two Scratching Seats, both in a corner of the Hooman Little Rooms.

In these strange rooms, Hoomans have noisy water machines under which they stand to get wet. In this disgracefully wasteful way, they change their smell from Awful to Soapful. They'd smell so much better, and use a lot less water, if they learned to lick.

The Scratching Seat is the saving grace of the Little Rooms. What happens is this: the Hoomans, feeling an urge to be cuddle a Dog, sit down on the seat. The Dogs then run up for an ear scratch. The seats are well-designed - just the right height for a greyhound ear scratch.

Our Hoomans, unfortunately, don't know how to use the Scratching Seats all that well. Big Boss gives a quick scratch and then insists on reading the newspaper. Little Boss says, "No, no, no, out, out, out," but then laughs and gives a quick scratch anyway.

There's a trick to optimising the benefits of the Scratching Seat. You need to be a little pushy.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Dog Diaries, Scratchy, Dog accessories

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D-cup

January 15th 2010 21:36

If this unusual dog bed brought to your mind such adjectives as tacky, tawdry and tasteless, I offer congratulations on your powers of alliteration.

It is an American product and it no doubt has a market. I never judge or make sweeping statements, but my guess is that the market is myopic dimwits on the seedy side of Hollywood whose taste is all in their dentures.

Of course, there are circumstances in which I wouldn't hesitate to get one, such as if I acquired a dog named Storm. When he goes to bed I could point and say, "There's Storm in a teacup." If he were a doberman pinscher, I could say, "Pinsch in kitsch." Opportunities not to be missed.

But wait — if it's a teacup for dogs, does that make it a D-cup?

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Dog accessories

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One-stop dog shop

March 5th 2009 23:50

Many years ago, and then some, buying a rare book was an arduous task. For serious collectors of English-language antiquarian books, the only thing to do was live in London or New York, or move there, or write many letters, and then some, to the dealers in those cities.

Then came the internet and email and web pages with current stock lists and current prices.

Surely it couldn't get any better than this.

Then came the Barnes and Noble used and rare book network - enter the name of a book, click, and be presented with dozens or maybe hundreds of booksellers around the planet currently holding a copy of that title, and their price.

No way it can get better than that. Unless (note to wife when she reads this) someone buys the book for my birthday, which happens to be coming up ...

What has all that got to do with dogs?

It is this. It seems to me that the world of dog accessory retailing lags the world of antiquarian book selling when it comes to internet access. I happen to love browsing dog accessories as much as books. My dogs have resisted all my efforts to interest them in reading books and love browsing dog accessories exclusively.

Leashes, toys, bedding, food ... if only they could all be found in one place with a really big selection.

Call me old. Call me uninformed. Call me a Luddite. Call me all three.

I have just discovered the ShopWiki.com dog care page. I have just discovered pages dedicated to leashes and collars, toys, bedding, food, and grooming.

It's like getting a hundred catalogues all at once, and I'm going to have a happy few hours trawling those web pages.

At least I will as soon as I can get these two greyhounds off my lap. I can't even see my screen. They are whining excitedly as they zoom around the pages. Daisy's tail is threatening to break my nose. Oh, no, now they are bickering. Daisy wants to go to the soft toy page, Scratchy wants to spend more time on the food page.

We're having a bow-wow of a time.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Dog accessories

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