Cone call
January 14th 2010 21:05
Part 2 of the story started yesterday: Halo from hell
A dog cone collar, also known as an Elizabethan collar or a space collar, comes in a variety of sizes and colours. Some have padded neck areas for extra comfort, some are fully padded for extra status, and you can buy special stickers so the kids can get involved.
There is no name, model, style, colour or decoration, however, which has ever won approval from a single dog or cat.
Late on the first day of Scratchy's one-month sentence of wearing a cone collar, he negotiated his way out the door into the backyard. He took a deep-breath of sweet evening air foully scented with plastic from his cone collar, and decided to walk around the side of the house. This narrow alley, barely wide enough for two greyhounds to pass each other, is Scratchy's favourite toilet spot.
I don't know how long he stood there, unable to turn around because of the huge cone on his head, before I found him and helped him out. That's when I decided to find an alternative to the cone, which was disturbing me almost as much as it was clearly disturbing Scratchy.
We have in our household a pair of ladies silk pajamas. Of the softest texture, and the softest sky blue, they were bought many years ago in Hong Kong's famous Stanley Market, and served their mistress faithfully. I found them in the laundry, in the rag bag.
I cut about six inches off a trouser leg. I slipped this over Scratchy's wounded leg, wrapped the top end of the silk tightly just above the knee, and secured it with a liberal application of medical gauze.
We now had a covered wound, meaning Scratchy couldn't lick it, but open at the bottom, which means air could get in.
He's been wearing it for two days now and, while he's had a little nibble at the gauze, he hasn't been able to undo it, and he hasn't been able to get at the wound, which has dried out and is healing nicely. Scratchy shook his leg a few times initially when walking, but has become used to it. He even wore his blue silk leg skirt to the park this morning, and acted unfazed and indifferent when Daisy sniggered.
The plastic cone collar, meanwhile, sits discarded in a corner of the shed. I hope I never see it again.
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Comment by Heidi/Clyde
Yer got off lightly, I had ter wear ther bucket on me head fer abaht 3 weeks ter protect me eye whilst it healed ufter I pranged ut an ut got stitched up. I hated it but ther missus sed I'd hate ter loose me one good eye even more. I s'pose she were right, I got lots of cuddles an treats when ut wus on, ut helped er bit.
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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I'm not so sure mate. I suppose it's better than the cone, like seven of one and five of the other, but the point is I want to lick the damn thing and THEY WON'T LET ME. Bloody hoomans.
And if Daisy laughs one more time I'm going to spit a peach pip at her.
S
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
That really isn't nice of you. It is rude to spit and peach pits can hurt. Surely you wouldn't like to hurt Daisy just because she is trying to cheer you up with her delightful laughter?
Heidi,
Geeze Scratch!
Wimun! Hows about yer gets a mouthful uv them peach things an blow real hard ut Daisy? Send a garbla bags uv them ova here an I'll do ther same ter Heidi.
Cripes nah she's killin herself laughin ut me just cos I did'n know ther lumps all ova ther orchard is peach an apricot pits. How was I s'posd ter know? How der yer put up with ut Scratch?
Clyde.
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
Y're neva gunna believe ut! Ther Missus takes me second bandage off last night. I felt er bit average when ut came off an she ses she's worried abaht ther smell. She slathers ointment onter ut an wraps stuff called gauze arahd ut ter stop me lickin ut. Took me half ther night ter get ut off but I had er good lick then. So ut's off ter ther vets agen. I reckons uts goodoh an ther stitches can cum aht but no dice. Me foots all swelled up an I've gotta take more tablets an hev er sock on me foot ter stop me lickin. Geeze Scratchy, I've had er gut full uv ut I tells yer. I reckons I'm up shit creek withaht er paddle. I dun think they'll eva get ther plurry stitches aht an ef yer thinks yer leg itches yer should try stitches. How's yer legs goin' anyway mate? Still itchin? You in yer silk skirt an me in me sock, we'd look a right pair uv bandicoots ef we were tergether, eh?
I dun care whut ther Sheilas say, but. I reckons we're tops. Bet they dun crack hardy like us when things go arseabaht. Heidi carried on like shes abaht ter clag ther bag when they took her dew claws off an they dun get infected or anythin'!
Clyde.