The funny side of dogs
February 9th 2009 05:33
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
Sue Murphy
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
Anonymous
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
Harry S Truman
Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard
I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.
Penny Ward Moser
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
Corey Ford
The dog is a yes-animal, very popular with people who can't afford to keep a yes-man.
Robertson Davies
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Ambrose Bierce
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
Jack Handey
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some chihuahuas with some good ideas.
Jack Handey
I don't eat anything a dog won't eat. Like Sushi. Ever see a dog eat sushi? He just sniffs it and says, "I don't think so." And this is an animal that licks between its legs and sniffs fire hydrants.
Billiam Coronel
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.
Joe Weinstein
I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.
G.K. Chesterton
If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.
Anonymous
I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons.
Will Rogers
Children are for people who can't have dogs.
Anonymous
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth
Anne Tyler
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Benchley
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs.
Jerome K. Jerome, Three Men in a Boat
Labradors (make) lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about, but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new, not a warning.
Norman Strung
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
Josh Billings
(Scottish Terriers) have all the compactness of a small dog and all the valor of a big one. And they are so exceedingly sturdy that it is proverbial that the only thing fatal to them is being run over by an automobile -- in which case the car itself knows it has been in a fight.
Dorothy Parker
Bulldogs are adorable, with faces like toads that have been sat on.
Colette
The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
Winston Churchill
Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations, The Penguin Dictionary of Modern Humorous Quotations, users.tpg.com.au, www.dogquotes.com; image: www.dogperfection.com
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