Vote greyhound!
September 6th 2009 23:44
The breed of dog known as greyhound, found only on a small, otherwise unremarkable planet in a lower middle-class star cluster, is the most innately gentle creature ever known.
Some have argued that the greyhound is in fact the second-most gentle sentient being behind the Yzzym, a three-headed, seven-legged being found on small but fertile planet named Op in the constellation Ium. All those who argue in favour of the Yzzym, however, are known to have business dealings with them. The Yzzym's sole industry is the propagation and export of a particularly high-quality agricultural product.
We haven't tried it, but we hear it's wicked.
That leaves us with greyhounds, known only to most Earth dwellers through occasional pictures on television. They appear as slim, fast dogs wearing muzzles, being cheered wildly by large, slow men bearing beer-bellies.
It's no wonder greyhounds get a bum rap and the Yzzym get a look-in.
Next time, therefore, you are contacted by Intergalactic Opinions, Inc, and asked for your choice of the gentlest creature in the universe, please, in the interests of fairness, veracity and objectivity, vote greyhound and don't mention the Yzzym.
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Comment by Carolyn Cordon
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Comment by Chris Champion
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Comment by Roux
The breed is gentler then even Poodle Dogs, and we're, the big sized ones are pretty gentle. So, of course, I'd vote for them, and besides mom says the Yzzym aren't all that gentle, they cheat and steal, and in other ways aren't all that nice.
Roux 'b Doux
Comment by Chris Champion
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Thanks cobber. If they do one of those survey thingies on the swarvest (I think that's how you spell it) dogs, I'll vote for standard poodles.
Scratchy
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
We will too, vote for Standard Poodles as the suavest creatures that is. Clyde will vote because I tell him too, he doesn't actually have a clue what suave means. Even if I tried to explain, being suave is such light years over Clyde's head he'd still not have a clue. Clyde wants to know if the Yzzzym is a squeaky toy, He's too dopey to see a joke when it's under his nose.
Heidi.
G'day Roux an Scratchy an Daisy,
Thought I'd let yer know how ther Royal went. Ther Royal is ther Royal show Roux, there's one in every capital city uv Horstralya an uts a huge bun fight when all ther best animals come ter be judged. Ther one in Ad'lade's ther biggest annual chook show in ther country, there's one in Canbeara evry 4 years whats twice as big but. Ther Missus usually gets Champion or reserve in her two breeds ut ther Royal, last year she got both in both breeds, this year she dun get either. She dun mind much but, one uv ther Champions wus one she sold last year an she still reckons she sold ther right one. Now she's gunna work like stink ter get ther birds right fer breeding next year's champions.
Clyde.