Give me a brake
August 30th 2009 07:12
Scratchy takes a break after the big brake
A greyhound can out-accelerate anything in the known universe except the zot and the cheetah. The zot, which lives in the centre of giant electrical storms found around a purple and orange-striped planet far away, comprises mostly mutated electro-magnetic impulses and so doesn't really count. The cheetah, as its name suggests, cheats, so it doesn't really count either.
That leaves the gryehound as the quickest living organism off the mark, and if you don't believe it, you should have seen Scratchy flying down the hallway in our house this morning.
The front door was open because Little Boss was in the front garden harvesting the flat-leaf parsley which is growing so successfully that it is threatening to take over the suburb. Something out there — possibly a hundred or so wild dogs which had wandered into the parsley patch and couldn't find their way out — had attracted the attention of Scratchy.
He was standing by bookcase one at the time. By the time he passed bookcase three he had overtaken some of the slower particles of light. About a zillisecond later he was out the front door, and thereby immediately confronted with a problem. Four feet the other side of the front door is a set of steps. A further four feet on is a gate.
The steps are steep. The gate was closed.
The braking ability of a greyhound is under-rated, especially when a speeding specimen recognises the prospect of a freefalling collision with a closed gate. It is true that Scratchy's braking effort was less than elegant, resulting as it did in him sitting a little lopsidedly on his bum, but it was no less effective for that.
We still don't know what led Scratchy to race outside like that. Based on observed behavioural patterns, it's possible he doesn't know either.
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Comment by Carolyn Cordon
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Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
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Comment by Roux
Good job Scratchy, too bad whatever was so far away. Glad you landed on your bum instead of your chin at the bottom of the stairs.
Roux
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
You got that right.
S