The grass god
February 18th 2012 06:26
Daisy: Every time we go to the dog park and you play chase the ball with Little Boss, you get a mouth full of grass.
Larry: Oh, the sublime thrill of the chase, and the balletic grace with which I execute it.
Daisy: It makes you wonder how often they mow the grass. Looks like every five minutes, given the amount your slobber-coated ball collects and transfers to your tongue.
Larry: I think I spotted an eagle this morning, hovering on high, be-thermalled, watching in awe as I streaked after the ball, swooped and gathered …
Daisy: It looks ridiculous.
Larry: Me chasing a ball looks ridiculous? Now just a minute …
Daisy: No, your tongue looks ridiculous, covered in grass.
Larry: Tongue? Grass?
Daisy: Have you heard one word of what I’ve been saying?
Larry: Somewhere there is a ball-chasing Hall of Fame. My name’s probably come up in early-candidacy discussions.
Larry: Oh, the sublime thrill of the chase, and the balletic grace with which I execute it.
Daisy: It makes you wonder how often they mow the grass. Looks like every five minutes, given the amount your slobber-coated ball collects and transfers to your tongue.
Larry: I think I spotted an eagle this morning, hovering on high, be-thermalled, watching in awe as I streaked after the ball, swooped and gathered …
Daisy: It looks ridiculous.
Larry: Me chasing a ball looks ridiculous? Now just a minute …
Daisy: No, your tongue looks ridiculous, covered in grass.
Larry: Tongue? Grass?
Daisy: Have you heard one word of what I’ve been saying?
Larry: Somewhere there is a ball-chasing Hall of Fame. My name’s probably come up in early-candidacy discussions.
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Comment by Rumble
wags,
Rumble
Comment by Chris Champion
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We are soul brothers in the chase. On the ground and in the air we are as one. Where the ball goes, we follow. All hail the ball.
Wheeeeeeeeeee,
Larry
Comment by INDIOSDAD
You is right I dont know nutin bout chasin no balls. Are you sure Larry is a Greyhound. We dont chase no balls that is beneath any Greyhound. Our hooman calls me a slow hound cuz I dont chase nutin even the cats i walk after them they still gets the idea "stay in your room cat"
The Hooman is feelin better so the compute thing is now left on so I kin use it.
We gots a new Greyhound in the house. His nane was Jalene #now JJ# he just came here yesterday. Hooman calls him a tripod cuz he only gots 3 legs. Dont understand hooman talk the dad hooman says he blew up his leg on the track and had to have it cut off. What means blew up. All I knows is he only gots 3 legs. He kinda hops around the house and yard. We cant play yet cuz they say he has to heal up first so he is kept in a thing called a x-pen and sleeps a lot now till he gets better. The hooman worries that some kinda test will come back bad and JJ has a thing called cancer. I dont think so he looks and smells ok to me. He sure does like to eat and drink. I think he and me will have fun bossin Snoopy the girl dog around.
OK Daisy keep true to the Greyhound code and dont chace no ball.
Smiling and waggin
Naboo
Comment by Chris Champion
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You are a clear-headed, right-thinking greyhound. Chasing balls is so, so ... undignified. Perhaps we should form a lobby group: Greyhounds Against Ball-chasing. Could be fun.
Wags,
Daisy
Comment by Chris Champion
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On behalf of all the regulars here at Zoomies, we'd like to bark: WELCOME. Hope everything heals up really quickly and you're out of that pen and into a comfortable life as quick as a greyhound at dinner time.
Wags and licks from all.
Comment by Rumble
Are you named after the planet in Star Wars? My owners were like OMG Its Naboo! But, you got it all wrong. Greyhounds are BORN TO CHASE BALLS!!
Comment by INDIOSDAD
Naboo is indeed named for the planet in Star Wars. Tho I cannot take the credit for the name. He came here with it, He left a home after 8yrs as a pet and came here live. Naboo is actualy a Galago and came to the U.S. as a pup so he has never run on the track. As a matter of fact we do not think Naboo has ever run for anything. We call him our slow hound. His attitude is "why run I'll get there just the same" So Naboo dosen't understand the concept of chassin a ball or anything.
JJ is happy to be part of this little international group. I will let him start sending posts later tho I will have to put the lap top on the floor for him. He only has one back leg now and I think typing at the desk might pose a problem for him. I think that his position on chasssin ball will be more in line with Larrys tho. He wanted to do so yesterday when we went out front for a pee/poo break.
I will send pictures of him later when he is on his feet.
Jerry
Comment by Heidiclyde
We've bin jaggin dahn ut Keith. Bonza place, lots uv good walks. We went ter Long Beach one day, got boggedin ther sand tryin't get there, but. Fool'uv'er 'ute shoulda had more grunt, dun'but. Anyways, we get's t'ther beach an walks up'ut aways, then we has'ter walk back. Heidi ses she wunt's ter go ter thur'end, ther Missus ses "Yeah, an who's gunna come'an get'yer when yer flakes'aht?" She says ut's called Long cos'ut'us, 90 miles of long. Cripe's I dun'no abaht miles bud'ut seemed ter go on frever ter'me.
Lissen, youse blokes, dun'yer reckon ut's abaht time yer stopped ther carry'on abaht balls? I mean, sum'uv us reckons they're real good'oh an sum uv us reckons theyre boorin'as bat shit. S'whut? Sum'uv ther foster'ounds'er real ding bats, they goes'an stashes everthing aht'on'ther grass an me'n ther Missus has'ter ged'ut all back inside. We missed ther phone thing wunst an'ut got rained on, dun do'ut much good, I'cn tell yer. Ther thing'us, they're doin'er Greyhound thing, ut sends ther Missus spare, bud'uts jus somethin yer has'ter live with she reckons cos'uts jus Greyhound.
An ther ball thing? In't chasin stuff'er Greyhound thing? An'in't Larry an Rumble chasin' somethin' when they chases balls? Leave em to'ut I says. Me an Heidi reckons squeaky toys leave balls f'dead bud'uts awright ef'ther foster'ounds wanna chase ther things. Keeps'em aht'uv our hair fer'er bit anyrate.
Ooroo f'now,
Clyde.
Comment by Rumble
I am not sure Naboo is a greyhound. I love zipping all over, then clonking out on the couch for the rest of the day. Hope JJ is doing better, soon! It sure is great to have another new greyhound here!
wags,
Rumble
Comment by Chris Champion
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A ninety-mile beach is like about approximately 9,000 sprint races put together, or maybe nine million. You might have been better off staying bogged.
My Big Boss went away for a couple of days, then got home yesterday and was all excited. He and Little Boss sat at the table and talked up such a storm I thought they were going to forget my dinner.
I think this is all about the Big Move. I'm having trouble sleeping more than nine hours at a time through worry.
Sad wag,
Larry
Comment by Chris Champion
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Listen, mate, you don't need to have the computer on the desk to type. Just cock your leg over it - oh, no, wait, not so easy with three legs.
Well, listen, how about putting it on the floor and using your nose to type? That's what I do. I know dainty Daisy and, I suspect, deft Heidi use a paw, but that's not necessary.
In fact there's all sorts of way to mash a message into a keyboard. Scratchy just tried to eat it, and Clyde, well I think his idiosyncratic dialect may be the result of sitting on it.
Hope that helps,
Larry
Comment by INDIOSDAD
Hi;
Dis is Naboo again I does the typen most the times cuz Snoopy is a Red Neck and nobody kin understand her.
I is sendin a picture thing of JJ. The thing on her neck is called a Neck Hug it is a thing you kin buy here in the States on the compute thing. It is like a soft E-Collar. it is like stickin your head in a pillow. Ya cant reach your butt withit on. JJ still aint too happy with it on. Hooman says he is healin OK. He is doing just fine since he just had his right leg cut off 10 days ago. He has got ta ake lotsa pills but he likes it cuz the hooman puts them in creamcheese. He sure does eat a lot. The hooman thinks he will do good and be ready to be a Greyhound again in about a month. Then he kin run around the yard with Snoopy.
I am a Galago that is a Spanish Greyhound. So I is a Greyhound cept I dont runns around like yous guys. I do have a sleepin on the couch down real good and sleeping 16 hours a day. So I is a true Greyhound.
Soon as the hooman takes more picture things I will send them.
Licks
Naboo
Comment by Heidiclyde
Whad'a'yer mean callin me lingo idiot cracked? Jus cos all'a bitches think yer smart'er'n ther rest'uv us dun mean yer'cn say stuff like thut. An' I dun do sit, I dun do lyin on me back neither, I has 3 plurry long toes on me front feet an I types better'n Heidi!
An Naboo; whut's wrong with Snoopy's lingo, seems ridgy didge ter me, ut's nah'sweat ter ged'er drift.
Heidi an me reckons we're gunna like JJ. Heidi says she's real pretty,I reckons yer wouldn'be feelin all thut crash hot havin yer leg chopped off an'havin ter wear thut pillow thing, yer'd feel er'right mopoke in'er thing like thut, ut's enough ter make'er bloke drop'is bundle real quick. Ony thing is, whut's she meant'ter'be Naboo? Yer says she's godda wear ther neck thing then yer says he's godda take lossa pills. Us she'er sheila'er us'e er'bloke? Carry on like thut an she's gunna end up not knowin'ef she's counter sunk'er punch drilled.
Yeah an abaht them tablets JJ, den'led Jerry fool yer, lick up ther cream cheese an spid'aht ther tablets, ther Missus has'ter open me mouth an push ther things dahn'me throat. Yer dun ged me takin ther plurry things lyin dahn!
Ooroo, hopes yer on the improve real soon.
Clyde.
Comment by Heidiclyde
Have you seen what Larry has said about our walk on the 90 mile beach? Does he really understand all that stuff or has he been chewing up the dictionary like Scratchy used to do?
Has my darling Chris been to that Tasmania place? Is the Big Move really going to happen? Oh Daisy, please please make sure the Bosses get the upkeep of your blog written into the contract. Life would be almost unbearable without our little chats, having to live with the old bush coot and all the foster hounds is very trying but a chat with you always makes me feel better.
Your great friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Rumble
When my people first got me, I had a stool infection from being in the kennels while racing. i had to take pills. My owners wrapped them in ham, but I ate the ham and spit out pills. My owners had to pin me down and hold open my mouth, while one shoved the pill down my throat. It was terrible. Get well soon, JJ!
wags,
Rumble
Comment by INDIOSDAD
We tried the ham we tried hot dogs we tried cheese slices and got down to the cream cheese after a friend that works at our vets office told us about it. It works just great. You dont even know there is a pill there. It kinda just wraps the pill up and the pill becomes part of the cream cheese so you dont even know you are taking a pill. It is gooey good and all our dogs like it.
Clyde are you trying to make trouble again. Lick up the cream cheese and spit out the pills. Clyde Clyde Clyde it's always you. It would also figure that you would be the one to stick up for Snoopy and think her Red Neck was easy to understand. I don't even understand her most of the time. I think you and her are some how related.
Jerry
Comment by Chris Champion
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The ghost of Scratchy
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Thanks a heap big megabunch for the picture of JJ. That's one nice-looking dog. I just want to lick those ears, gender uniformity notwithstanding.
Larry
Comment by Chris Champion
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I heard Big Boss tell Little Boss that he intends to spend all weekend in the study preparing a summary for the accountant. As he usually spends all weekend in the study playing Freecell and chess, and occasionally writing blog posts, I'm worried about the strain. But that's the only news I can give you on the Big Move at the moment. It's obviously still a chance, but beyond this summary thing, I suspect even even Big Boss isn't sure what's going to happen.
As for Larry eating a dictionary, I'm with Clyde. People who use that idiot word are so pretentious.
Wags and nuzzles,
Daisy
Comment by Chris Champion
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Razzle Dazzle Larry
Comment by INDIOSDAD
Forgot to tell ya all JJ for the moment is a boy dog. We just got word toady from the vet that the biopsy thing on his bad leg is negative so that means no cancer Dad is so excited he did a jig. Soon as JJ heals up from his leg he will as the hooman says get fixed. So we is all happy here.
Dad says that big boss little boss and the fur kids are moving to a diffrent state is it anywhere close to my state California and which way do we turn when we leave our driveway to get there
Naboo
Comment by Chris Champion
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JJ, your Healthy Greyhound Lifetime Zoomies Membership badge is in the mail.
The boy members will be pleased. They at times feel a little bitchpecked, although the girls haven't quite got Larry where they want him yet.
Anyway, this is delightful news, JJ. I haven't felt this happy since the last time Clyde ate all his dinner (which was rather a long time ago - yes, Clyde, I'm looking at you).
Just keep taking those pills like a good boy, and you'll be winning three-legged races before you know it.
Pats and hugs,
Chris
Comment by Heidiclyde
I've bin'eatin all me dinner, ut's me breakfus I turns me nose up'ut now. Gives the'Missus sumpthin difrent't ged'er nickers in'er knot abaht. Evry time she gets t'thinkin I'm puttin'on weight I goes off me food big'time but!
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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The ghost of Scratchy
Comment by Heidiclyde
I'm worried about Scratchy's ghost. Do ghosts eat? I suppose it wouldn't be Scratchy's ghost if it didn't but what happens to all the food when he walks through walls? And aren't ghosts meant to be insubstantial? Does the food go insubstantial too when he's eaten it or does it stay solid and roll around the place as he haunts Daisy? What if Scratchy's ghost decided to go through a wall near Daisy and most of him went through but the food stayed stuck on the wall? Somehow the thought of a gluttonous ghost is not nearly as appealing as a gluttonous Scratchy was. What if all that food rolling around in a howling Scratchy ghost made a noise like thunder and the sky really did fall on Daisy's head? I'm going to have nightmares about it. Please promise me that you won't leave any food lying around for the ghost to eat!
Your frightened friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Rumble
My owners had to get one of those bowls where you have to push around the sections to get to the food so I wouldn`t eat too fast!
Ghost of Scratchy,
I miss you, buddy. But, Heidi does have me concerned. Chris, be careful!
wags,
Rumble
Comment by INDIOSDAD
It's me Snoopy. No i don tink I'd worry too much bout The Great Scratch an benin no ghost. Now from what I knos bout ghosts dey passes thru walls n doors and every thin solid. Sos don it stan ter reson dat food beein solid when he eats it would jus drop rite thru his belly and draps on da floor. So ain nutin guna rumble roun in his stomach when he flys ore head. So Miss Daisy are gunna be OK. And the food he tries ta eats is gunna be on the floor an all us Greyhounds know dat food always tastes better offin the floor.
I gets so confused. The hooman says dat now only is your Australia place got summer when we gots winter but now he sez dat when it's today here it is tomarraw there. So dat means when I sends a message ta ya all I is sednin it to the future. But when yuz sends me a message ya all is sendin it to the past. WHAT? Hoomans should adapt dog time. Ta us it is now where ever we goes.
I gota go eat
Snoopy
Comment by Chris Champion
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I was worried about you worrying about Scratchy's ghost so I did some research and started to write a reply and it went on and on, rather like this sentence, so that in the end I realised the best thing was to make a new post of the response. So I did. It's here.
Ear rubs,
Chris
Comment by Chris Champion
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I miss you too. I miss all of you. Almost as much as I miss the push-around food balls. They have them here, but ghost noses just go straight through them.
Sigh,
Ghost of Scratchy
Comment by Chris Champion
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But he's just been here again. He's BEEN HERE AGAIN! And look, my food bowl is EMPTY!
Oh, wait, I remember now. Larry cleaned it up.
Shivers,
Daisy
Comment by Heidiclyde
As usual it takes one of us lady dogs to work out what happens to the food Ghost Scratchy eats, how clever of Snoopy to realise that solid substantial food would have to fall out of insubstantial Ghost Scratchy as he ate it. Are you sure Larry cleaned up your food bowl not the floor beside your dish where it fell when Ghost Scratch cleaned out your food bowl?
This does of course raise the question of how long it's going to take Mr Dumb Ox himself to work out that the food is all falling out and he's still not got a full tummy. Given that he never believed he had a full tummy however much he'd eaten, quite a while I'd guess.
Can't you just see it though? Ghost Scratchy stuck in one spot because he has to keep eating the food that keeps falling out of him!
Thank you so much Snoopy, I feel much more comfortable about Ghost Scratchy now, I know he'd not hurt Daisy intentionally but I don't suppose his brain power has improved by his translation and the possibilities were rather unsettling.
By the way, our Boss and Missus tried to explain the time thing but old Clyde just said; "Nah worries, Ut's now when I reads whut Snoop writes an now when I writes back'ter'er an now when she reads whod'I say so no dramas. Nothin ter bung'on er'blue abaht.
You know, sometimes the silly old coot makes a lot of sense but don't let him know I said that.
Licks and wags,
Heidi.