New home, new rules
May 10th 2012 08:17
C'mon canine, let's play chasie.
BB: Now listen carefully, Daisy and Larry, we need to have a talk.
Larry: Uh oh.
BB: You are not in trouble. I need to talk to you about the new rules after we move to Tasmania.
Daisy: We aren’t moving to Tasmania for months yet. You said so.
Larry: And we know the new rules anyway: stay inside the fence and stay away from the wallabies, whatever they are.
Daisy: Think monsters which can jump straight over a greyhound on back legs which end in sabre-like claws which can rip your guts out in a heartbeat.
What? Why are you both looking at me like that.
Larry: Yah, bu … umm, gulp …
BB: Very graphic, Daisy. Have you been reading Gothic horror novels again? Calm down Larry. Wallabies are more likely to run than fight. The real danger is that they can hop safely and happily through scrubland whereas a greyhound is likely to break a leg within seconds. The house we want to buy may have a lot of land, but it is uncleared bush. No parks, no orchards. At least until we clear some of it.
Larry: Perhaps we could learn to hop.
Daisy: Anyway, why the angst, Big Boss? As I said, we aren’t moving for ages. We aren’t even certain of moving to a bushland property.
BB: That’s true. Maybe I am being over-sensitive. Maybe I’m just reacting to some disturbing news I heard today.
Daisy and Larry: What news?
BB: I read a news report about dogs which killed 27 penguins in the Phillip Island Nature Park. It was such a tragedy. They are known as Little Penguins and they are protected. They were a popular tourist attraction at a spot called Cat Bay.
Larry: Hahaha, Cat Bay. That’s so funny because …
BB: LARRY!
Larry: What?
Daisy: You’re an idiot.
BB: Look, it’s just a life lesson. Dogs and other animals often don’t mix. These might have been wild dogs, but greyhounds are not the most domesticated of animals.
Daisy: Not domesticated? I think we tolerate humans remarkably well.
BB: That’s not exactly my point. My point is that we will be living in a rural environment and there will be cows and sheep and horses and pigs and who knows what other animals, let alone wallabies, in the area. And there is no way I am going to trust you two not to molest such animals given the chance.
Daisy: Now you’ve hurt my feelings. I think you should trust us to behave responsibly.
Larry: Pigs! That’s where crackling comes from, right?
Daisy: Yes! Like the stuff we had the other night. To die for.
BB: (Sigh). I give up. I’m going to the computer to look up greyhound-proof fence manufacturers.
Larry: I’m going to the back yard to practice hopping.
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