Greyhound - Greyhound adoption programs

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Greyhound Greyhound adoption programs - Zoomies

Dear Kylie

April 2nd 2009 23:21

We have been given permission to reproduce the following letter from Clyde, a greyhound with sophisticated, if idiosyncratic, literary aspirations, to the editor of the newsletter of the Greyhound Adoption Program in South Australia. We love the letter, but then we're biased because it's all about us.

Love,
Daisy and Scratchy

-----

Y'know Kylie, sometimes I get real flummoxed by things. Y'know how I us'ter like ther Missus readin' Princess Pretzel to us?

Well ther Missus now reads us an even better one by a bloke called Chris Champion about Scratchy an' Daisy whot you told her abaht. It's real good'oh, but I got worried abaht the last one where Scratchy had a gutser an knocked ther stufin' out uv Daisy an' Daisy sed rude things ter him.

We've got a real elegant Greyhound girl called Abby fosterin' here at ther moment an' she an' Heidi get on real well. Heidi is me good mate most uv ther time but sometimes she acts like she thinks she's Christmas on a stick an she's real rude ter me too. When ther Missus read abaht poor Scratchy wantin' a tickle an' gettin inter trouble frum Daisy, Heidi gave Abby a look an said "Huh, Boy dogs, aren't they impossible" an I said, "Hang on, he dun mean ter come a cropper, Daisy dun haf ter be so rude, I reckon I should write ter Scratchy an tell him I think he's bonza".

Then Heidi laughed at me an' said "What d'yer think this is? Bush Week? She said I wuldn' know how ter write ter him an even if I did he wuldn' unnerstan' anything I said. She said he's a real city slicker, she said he knows all ther real big words like Daisy used at him, an dun talk busd lingo like mine.

I sed "But aren't most uv ther Greyhounds city slickers? Dun they unnerstan me lingo?" an Heidi seys they are an they dunt! Yer just puts me letter in ter fill up space! Kylie I dun know whether I'm counter sunk or punch drilled, I'm all over the shop an out uv sorts. Is Heidi right or jus showin off ter Abby an feedin me a load uv old cobblers? Der yer know if people want ter read me letters or do they think I've got a couple uv 'roos loose in ther top paddock an I'm as borin as bat shit? Geeze, I feel like a Bandicoot on a burnt ridge, I like writin' ter yu But I dun wunt ter be a berk. I tells yer what though. I dun care what Heidi says about Scratchy. Daisy hurt his feelin's. Hev yer seen terdays bit? It ses he likes hidin his head. I reckon he's feelin as flat as a tack 'cos uv what Daisy sed an he's hidin' his head 'cos she's dark at him.

I still want ter tell him I think he's Bonza.

Can yer ask people if they like me stuff? I'll pull me head in if they wunt me to.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Greyhound adoption programs

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Old girl with fast past in need of sofa space

November 15th 2008 07:09

Gentle Tess needs a home

Dammit, it's always a mistake visiting the Victorian Greyhound Adoption Program web site. They have lots of pictures of dogs looking for adoptive homes, and that tugs at the heart. And they have some fiendishly clever copywriting to go with the pictures, and that tugs at the heart even more.

If I followed my heart every time I looked at that web site, I'd have two hundred dogs. I already have two greyhounds and two sofas, and there just isn't any more sofa space at my place.

Today, however, it was especially tough to say no. Today I read about Tess.

Here is what they say on their home page here: "Poor Tess truly believes that no-one will love her because they'll think she's too old. Please prove her wrong! You don't want to hear this old girl cry!"

Why not, I ask - it put a tear in the eye of this old boy.

Here is what they say about Tess on their main information page here: "8yo Whelped 07/01/2000, Racename - OUR DREAMTIME. Tess has been a mum and now she's looking for a quiet couch to laze her days in. Tess is not a girl who needs lots of exercise - as far as she's concerned, the less exercise the better! If you're looking for a quieter, low maintenance dog, then look no further. She is not cat friendly."

Tess is available for adoption immediately. Please, someone, ring them now on (03) 5799 0166.

Before I do.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Greyhound adoption programs

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Sartorial Scratchy

July 14th 2008 23:07

Don't talk about gender equality to the males in lion, peacock and elephant circles. Those manly manes, brilliant tail feathers and powerful tusks are the stuff of struts. If you've got it, flaunt it. It's the sort of top-shelf hauteur I would develop naturally if someone gave me an Aston Martin.

Scratchy is affected by none of this. He is a gentle, easy-going chap. A good sofa and a tummy rub are all he asks. Machismo? Who needs it?

That all changed when he got his coat.

Now I would never say a word against the wonderful people at the Greyhound Adoption Program, but are they insane? With winter coming on, they provided two high-quality coats for Scratchy and Daisy - size Extra Large for the Big Brindle and size Dainty Petite for the Short Black - coats which are equally warm and cosy on the inside, and as different as day and night on the outside.

Daisy got a nice plum and green trim number. Very presentable. Scratchy got a multi-coloured mantle which can be seen two time zones away. Pure razzle-dazzle.

It's enough to turn any dog's head. When we go out for walks on cold days - and Melbourne has served up nothing but cold days recently - you can almost see Scratchy put his nose in the air. His bum has a definite sway to it.

Not that Daisy cares. Much too grounded that girl. The coat doesn't make him run any faster, and doesn't improve his eating manners. He can strut all he likes and he will be ignored.

Try to take my bone, though, laddie, and I'll tear that fancy coat of yours to shreds!

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Greyhound adoption programs

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Daisy, Daisy

June 10th 2008 19:39

Daisy

Moving day. The excitement of a new house, bought weeks earlier in a stomach-churning, emotion-laden auction. The stress of organising the packing and lifting and moving and unpacking and mess and chaos. A well lived-in house, it seems, will not empty. The more you pack, the more you find to pack.

Into the middle of this muddle came Daisy. The Greyhound Adoption Program people had nominated this day for the return of Scratchy, newly neutered and approved to go muzzleless in public, and Daisy, his adopted girlfriend. We could have pleaded for another day - moving house is a fairly reasonable excuse - but we didn't. The GAP people do too good a job to argue with.

It is unknown how much experience Daisy, not yet two years old, has had of domestic life, but it would be interesting to know her first thoughts of her new home. "Hmmm," she might have mused, "shiny floors - the Big Brindle and I will soon put a few homely claw marks on them - but where the heck is that stuff humans seem to like so much, what's it called, oh yeah, furniture?"

It was early afternoon and the first truck-load of belongings had yet to arrive. The house had been left spotless by the previous owners. The calm before the storm.

Daisy's papers show her name as Bella. But Cindy had decided there were too many Bellas in our current circle of canine friends, and a name change was called for. Scratchy doesn't seem to mind. He thinks of her as Short Black. It doesn't quite capture the romance of a new relationship, but it is accurate enough. Compared to Scratchy, Daisy is decidedly petite. She is black except for a diamond of white on her chest. She is dainty. And she is an absolute darling.

But she is no wilting flower, our Daisy. Six hours after she had arrived, she was asleep on the newly installed sofa in front of the newly installed television. We had thought she might be timid at first; we had expected her to need a few days to settle in. But here she was looking like she'd been here forever. Just as she had decided to adopt the Big Brindle immediately after meeting him a few days earlier, she had decided that Cindy and I, and our shiny floor-boarded house, would do. The arrival of a sofa only reinforced her decision.

Daisy had come to stay.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Greyhound adoption programs

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Desensitization

May 29th 2008 11:39

Drive south-west out of Melbourne, on the the Princes Highway towards Geelong, and you come to Werribee. At Werribee there is a satellite campus of the Victoria University. Drive into the campus, I was told, find the car park in front of the veterinary science complex, and look for a man with a station wagon and a long, low, white dog trailer. When you find the man, I was instructed, give him your dog.

I found the man. "I am to hand over my dog," I said.

"Ah," he said, "Scratchy."

It is to be a big - it would be fair to say, life-defining - two weeks for Scratchy. The time will be spent with the very organised and very dedicated people at the Greyhound Adoption Program, who work so hard to place retired racers with good homes. Some greyhounds retire earlier than others, depending on their natural speed. Scratchy tends to mumble a bit when asked why he retired so early in his career.

The Greyhound Adoption Program people are generally referred to as GAP, and one of things they will do with Scratchy these two weeks is neuter him. As I write this, it occurs to me that I am not entirely certain why this is essential, that I am not entirely certain that there is a moral imperative, and that I am not entirely certain that Scratchy has had his rights read to him.

The second thing the GAP people will do is desensitize him. This sounds more like a first step to neutering. In fact, it's a kind of reversal of the training which made him a racing dog. That training - and bear with me here if I don't know all the technical terms - is to chase small, fluffy things. It is that in-built instinct, combined with their extraordinary speed, which results in the requirement that greyhounds, alone of all dog breeds, must wear a muzzle when in public. It does seem strange - all greyhounds are born with natural aggression levels roughly equal to that of, say, a tissue. However, when one combines a greyhound's speed, its instinct to chase, and the ability of government legislators to put two and two together and come up with laws aimed at protecting their cats, one sees the problem.

The GAP people have the answer. They put the dogs through a program which, if passed, earns the greatest prize for all non-racing greyhounds - a green collar. A greyhound with a green GAP collar does not have to wear a muzzle in public. A greyhound with a green GAP collar has satisfied the GAP people - and through them the legislators of the land - that it will not, if muzzleless in public, rob banks, drive while drunk or kill cats.

The third thing the GAP people will do with Scratchy is introduce him to bitches.

One of the things which Cindy and I have in common is a love of dogs, and one of the major signs of long-term commitment we made to each other was to agree to get a dog. Each. Two dogs - two statements that our future was together. My dog was to be a greyhound, and Cindy's was to be an oodle. She was tossing up between a schnoodle and a spoodle. By the time we got Scratchy, she was leaning towards a labradoodle, or maybe a cavoodle. A few weeks after Scratchy had come to live with us, she finally made up her mind - she wanted another greyhound.

Th GAP people have a lovely web site showing pictures and cleverly sweet descriptions of all the dogs currently looking for adoptive homes. Cindy, in looking at them, was thinking maybe a girl greyhound around Scratchy's age or a bit younger. Cindy, in talking to the GAP people about Scratchy's big two weeks away, was told that he could be introduced to some of the girls. To see which ones he gets on with best.

It was only yesterday that I handed my dog over to the man in the car park. Scratchy has a lot to do, a lot to get through in the next two weeks. Not all of it is happy. But I'm focusing on his introductions to some nice young friends. Because when Scratchy finally comes home, he will be bringing his chosen girlfriend with him.

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Posted By: Chris Champion - Category: Greyhound, Greyhound adoption programs

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