They’re home
January 11th 2011 22:01
I bet I can get off this sofa faster than you can take a picture.
DAISY: I thought you were going to break down the door.
SCRATCHY: They’re home! They’re home!
DAISY: They would have been a lot less happy to see us if they’d unlocked the front door and found you’d put your head through the fly-wire door.
SCRATCHY: They’re home! After 13 days without food, they’re back!
DAISY: Is Exaggeratish your native tongue? We were looked after very well, and fed perfectly adequately, by Nadine, Elaine and Amy.
SCRATCHY: They all tried to starve me. Not one of them gave me more than half a jug of kibble in the evening and half a slice of toast in the morning.
DAISY: What’s wrong with that?
SCRATCHY: What’s wrong with it? Try malnourishment. Try cruelty to a dumb – err, hungry – animal. Thank heavens the Bosses are home and I can get decent meals again.
DAISY: Scratchy, Nadine, Elaine and Amy fed you exactly what Little Boss wrote on the list. It’s what you always get. The Bosses aren’t going to feed you any more than you were getting while they were away.
SCRATCHY: Really?
DAISY: Really.
SCRATCHY: Is that list still on the kitchen bench?
DAISY: Yes.
SCRATCHY: Quick, let’s grab it and hide it. I know, I could eat it. Then maybe the Bosses will forget and give me more food.
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Comment by TanyaMary
Good to hear you managed to survive Christmas, both of you. I had a bout of gastro just before so now I am all skinny, AGAIN.
Love and licks
Beyleigh
Comment by Chris Champion
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We were supposed to go to the GAP boarding kennel while the Bosses went walking in the wilds of New Zealand, but Big Boss left the booking until too late. When he finally rang, they were booked out, and Little Boss went very quiet, which is very ominous. Big Boss was lucky to survive.
Now listen, cobber, this "homemade doggy meat" is going to stop me sleeping ever again until I can get some. Any chance I can come live with you? I don't eat much. Really. Truly.
Scratch
Comment by TanyaMary
This recipe makes enough for two large trays of meatloaf (each tray about 16 serves). It used to last me approx 4 weeks. kept half in the fridge, half in the freezer. It's kind of flexible too depending on what leftovers are available.(not that it sounds like there are many leftovers at your place.)
You will need:
2kg mince beef
approx 300gm chicken livers (roughly chopped)
6 lamb kidneys or one ox kidney (chopped)
1 kg bacon (chopped)
1 doz eggs
1 cup uncooked rice
1 cup rolled oats
2 kg frozen veggie mix (no corn) (this is put in the food processor while frozen until it's kind of minced)
a couple of cups of water
any leftovers that are yummy and dog friendly
Mix the whole lot together (Tanya does it in two batches so divide ingredients over two mixes) Line two large baking trays with baking paper and fill them up with the mix. Bake in a 180-200 degree oven for 45mins to an hour. The timing all depends on how sloppy the mix is. Best thing to do is test it. Allow to cool before cutting into portions. Makes approx 36 serves. The best bit about this is I got the crumbs from the tray all warm and delicious.
I hope you manage to convince your bosses to try this. If they add a little seasoning, they could eat it too.
Love and licks
Beyleigh
Comment by TanyaMary
By the way, as much as Lynx would like a belly buddy, Michael says that two dogs are more than enough for anybody, so you can't come and stay. Sorry.
Beyleigh
Comment by heidiclyde
Tell yer Boss Michael thut 3 Greyhounds us less trouble thun 1 other dog, we jus lies around whilst thut one's goin off like er frog in er sock. Ther Boss an ther Missus ses Heidi an me an ther foster hound are just right fer numbers.
Our Missus reckons she's gunna try yer stuff ter get me eatin more, I reckons she's floggin er dead horse, I'll eat what I wants when I wants. Ter tell yer ther truth I'm eatin good ut ther moment, Cathy, our pretty little foster hound is er bit like me an stopped eatin cos she felt er bit dodgy. She got real sick an had ter go ter hospital an on er drip. She's home now an ther Missus boiled up a garb'la chooks ter make broth an nice meat fer'er. She's lookin bonza an eatin stuff like ut's goin aht uv fashion so's I'm boggin in too, dun wun'ta end up on drips like she did!
Scratch yer Boss an Little Boss hev bin off ter Kiwi land? d'they talk funny now? Heidi still reckons yer dog sitters prolly starved yu, like she ses Magda ther dog washer tries ter drown her. Dopey Sheila, gets her knickers in er knot jus cos she dun like wet! Magda's good oh she knows just ther right bit ter rub behind me ears.
catch y'later mate,
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Thanks for asking about coming to stay in your house. Rejection of this dream to live at a home where you get fed homecooked meatloaf is not something I'll get over in a hurry, but at least I have the recipe now. How can I ever thank you?
My plan is to work out how to use Big Boss's printer, make 500 copies, and then wallpaper the kitchen with them. That way the Bosses get both great new deco and a clear idea of what I want for dinner.
Scratch
Comment by Chris Champion
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They do talk a bt fnny, now you mintion ut.
Lcks to Cethy. She sounds swit.
Scretch
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Comment by TanyaMary
Any luck with the meatloaf yet? My tail is all a quivver in anticipation 'cos I heard a rumour that there might be some meatloaf in production this weekend in our house. Keep your paws crossed for me.
Clyde, It sounds like your friend Cathy had what I had. I spent a few days in the hospital. I was a walking pincushion and feeling very sorry for myself. Back in tip top condition now though.
When Tanya and Mike came back from Nw Zilland they spoke a bit funny too. Sometimes a funny word still slips out. Very perplexing.
Lynx and I send love and licks to Daisy and Heidi too
Beyleigh
Comment by heidiclyde
Oh Bliss,
The Missus made Beyleigh Tucker today.
She's awful with recipes, she always uses what she's got not what it says so we've got Barley and Burghul instead of rolled oats and some of our nice butcher's delicious pet mince (he puts livers and hearts and kidneys and all the left over bits of meat from a day's butchering into it) and nice big pieces of meat from the chicken drumsticks she got to make stock for Cathy instead of the meats you said. She's put in Pumpkin (my favourite vegetable) and carrot and zucchini and more water than you said because she said it would need longer to cook because of fresh vegetables and lots of grains and it smells wonderful and I can't wait for dinner time!
Oh dear, the Missus says this is really for Clyde and Cathy and if I want some I'll have to have reduced kibble rations. Oh cruel Missus, I'm not fat like she says, I eat well and am nicely proportioned. Perhaps a little more nicely proportioned since my holiday with Amber, but definitely not fat.
Sigh, I suppose I'd better accept the reduction in kibble or she'll not give me any of the Beyleigh tucker and I've been watching every step in it's making and I couldn't bear it if I missed out.
Cruel and heartless Missus, I am deeply saddened by the depths some hoomans will sink to!
Heidi.
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Comment by TanyaMary
I am also pacing the kitchen in anticipation. The smells from the oven are almost intoxicating. I have also been watching Tanya make our meatloaf. Burghul and barley sound good. Tanya adds crushed up weet-bix when she doesn't have oats so it doesn't really matter. Today Tanya put in some passata, which is Italian for tomato. I LOVE tomato.
Enjoy, and I hope Clyde enjoys it too.
Lynx
Comment by Chris Champion
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Big Boss hasn't agreed to make The Recipe yet, a fact which I believe such be reported to the United Nations and all other humanitarian and animal welfare organisations in the galaxy.
On the other hand, I have seen him looking at it closely more than once. Be still my rumbling stomach.
Wags,
Scratch
PS I have to stop thinking about crushed up Weet-Bix. If I don't, I'll never sleep again.
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If you were my dog, I'd feed you crushed up Weet-bix every day.
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Comment by TanyaMary
Can't talk now, eating.
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Comment by heidiclyde
Cathy says she'll eat Bayleigh tucker any day and the Missus had better send the recipe with her to her new home when she gets one.
We have lots of crushed up wheetbix, the Missus gets big bags of reject bits from the factory, I know what she'll use next time. hope she doesn't put tomato in though, I don't really like that.
Heidi.
Comment by heidiclyde
Whuts all ther carry on abaht? Uts just tucker in'it? Yeah ut's good tucker, nuthin ter write home abaht, but!
Scratch ol' son, ef yer can't sleep fer thinkin abaht wheetbix I'll send ther flamin bag uv ther stuff ova ter you. Can't stand ther stuff meself, ut's er sloppy mess in yer dinner bowl an glues up yer whiskers.
Clyde.