Letter to the editor
October 4th 2011 04:46
Scratchy: For those who heretofore have not recognised my genius, please be informed that I have just had a letter published in a newspaper.
Daisy: You have not.
Scratchy: A metropolitan daily, a trumpeter of news and opinion, a voice of the community and reflector of its wellbeing or otherwise, has seen fit to air my words.
Daisy: It has not.
Scratchy: Technically, you’re correct. The letter has not yet been published. But it will be tomorrow.
Daisy: It will not.
Scratchy: This demonstrates my brilliance.
Daisy: You didn’t write that letter.
Scratchy: A legacy. A codicil. A bequest. An heirloom for the ages. I shall be remembered long after the memories of lesser greyhounds are dust.
Daisy: Big Boss wrote that letter and you know it.
Scratchy: It was signed “Scratchy”.
Daisy: It was signed Scratchy by Big Boss because it was a plug for the Greyhound Adoption Program.
Scratchy: A venerable organisation indeed and one to which I am happy to lend support, using all my considerable communicative skills and contacts.
Daisy: And is was signed Scratchy to add some humour. If he’d wanted a more serious tone, no doubt he’d have signed it “Daisy”.
Scratchy: I should go into the lobbying business. I could be immensely influential and successful.
Daisy: Not using words like “heretofore” you couldn’t.
Daisy: You have not.
Scratchy: A metropolitan daily, a trumpeter of news and opinion, a voice of the community and reflector of its wellbeing or otherwise, has seen fit to air my words.
Daisy: It has not.
Scratchy: Technically, you’re correct. The letter has not yet been published. But it will be tomorrow.
Daisy: It will not.
Scratchy: This demonstrates my brilliance.
Daisy: You didn’t write that letter.
Scratchy: A legacy. A codicil. A bequest. An heirloom for the ages. I shall be remembered long after the memories of lesser greyhounds are dust.
Daisy: Big Boss wrote that letter and you know it.
Scratchy: It was signed “Scratchy”.
Daisy: It was signed Scratchy by Big Boss because it was a plug for the Greyhound Adoption Program.
Scratchy: A venerable organisation indeed and one to which I am happy to lend support, using all my considerable communicative skills and contacts.
Daisy: And is was signed Scratchy to add some humour. If he’d wanted a more serious tone, no doubt he’d have signed it “Daisy”.
Scratchy: I should go into the lobbying business. I could be immensely influential and successful.
Daisy: Not using words like “heretofore” you couldn’t.
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Comment by Chris Champion
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Yup, yup, yup, the letter was printed and I'm famous. If hundreds of letters from adoring bitches haven't been delivered to my sofa, I can only surmise it's because Big Boss has withheld them from me. He's obviously jealous.
Licks to Heidi. Hope she's getting better. I've been to the doc with a sore shoulder myself. He mumbled something about arthritis or a tendon strain, and put me on ant-inflammatories, as if Big Boss doesn't shove enough tablets down my gullet each day.
Anyway, right as rain now so I must have tweaked a tendon. It happens to athletes like me.
Wags,
S
Comment by INDIOSDAD
What paper is your letter in. My hooman dad wants ta kno so's he kin go on line and read wat ya wrote cuz dat woud make ya famous. We dont kno any famous Greys fer written riten nuten. So please let him kno. You is kool Scratch.
SNOOPY
Comment by Heidiclyde
Geeze mate, ef yer not gettin fan mail neither am I an my stuffs in er book, ther Missus ses Newspapers are efferornal or summat like thut, books us f'rever. I reckons ther bitches jus dun know er good thin when ut's starin them in ther face.
Hey Scratch, Dun yer reckon sendin licks ter Heidi's er bit rotten? She's got ter stop lickin.
Yer'd not blieve ut mate but I',ve gut one uv ther horrible things on too now. I pranged me stifle in er bingle an'a course I licked ut.
Gives yer ther flamin Heebie Jeebies,
Clyde.
Comment by INDIOSDAD
I is sorry ta hear ya has ta be wearen the buckets on yer heads. Me n Naboo knos all bout dat. Wat realy frosts me wiskers is when da hoomans laughs at us cuz we runs inta things when we is wearen the dang things. Jus cuz it make our heads 4 times da size they realy is and it gets in the way when we is tryn ta eat or drink. I'd like ta put one on my hooman and see him try ta eat and drink and drive his precieous car with it on. I say every time we gots ts wesr ont the hooman has to wear one too.
Get better quick and then bury the bucket in the yard.
Licks n Wags
Snoopy
Comment by Heidiclyde
G'day Scratch,
Hud'a real bobby dazzla uv er storm terdie, Thunder an flashin' like billyo all'ova ther place an one crash bang on top uv'us, even ther Boss an me jumped ut thut one. Heidi's gets real avridge when ther fireworks gets goin' an Nitro wern't too happy neither. Ther Missus ploughs on makin Beyleigh Tucker an Heidi's too conked out ter notice. Yer should'a eard'er when ther Missus starts cuttin ut up but! Teeth chatterin' like er plurry combine aht in ther paddock! Ther Missus ses she's just abaht er thunder storm herself! She gut ter lick aht the bakin pans but, an Nitro helped.
Hooroo f'now,
Clyde.
Comment by INDIOSDAD
We had one too. Da hooman calls um tunderboomers.
We were sittin Sunday nite a watchen the magic window (Telle Vision) sumpten bout wild hogs goin crazy in Texas. All a sudden dis big flash o light goes off outside that lit up the whole yard. Then there was a big boom I mean big da whole house shook. Then it a started rainen dad says it were rainen cats and dogs (I looked but I didn see no cats or dogs Hoomans are so strange) Naboo and Happy were standin by the patio door a barkin an a growlin at the sky. I don think it helped cuz it just kept on a boomin and a boomin for ever. I being the girl dog and the smart one went into the hoomans sleepin room went on the bed and put my head under the pillars (could hardly hear it then). The hooman dad went out and stood on the front porch and said he was a watchen the light show from the heavens. The cats didn come out from their hidie holes till the next mornin (thats why they calls um "SCARDIE CATS'
First real storm of the winter and hooman hopes we gets lots more.
Woofs to ya all
SNOOPY #the smart one#
Comment by Chris Champion
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Snoop, if we had a clap of thunder here like the one you described, Daisy would punch a greyhound-shaped hole in the ceiling.
She's not, in fact, as bad as some dogs I have heard about - the sort who get so scared of thunder or lightning that they climb fences and run into the night with, sometimes, tragic consequences.
She is, however, of the leap-off-the-sofa-and-stand-a nd-shake category of scaredy-dog. In prolonged storms, she hides under my desk in the study and trembles and trembles.
That is why I worked hard and fast the other day so I could get home before the promised storm arrived. This is the same storm Clyde's talking about - the storm system swept right across southern Australia.
I did manage to get home in time, and together we waited. The news was full of items about the flooding and damage that the storm was causing as it raged towards us, and my computer screen showed a a radar map full of angry reds and purples as I tracked its path.
Mellbourne is a city of 4 million people, and many suburbs were hit very hard by the storm. But not ours. It simply went around us. We had one decent thunder clap which got Daisy off the sofa, and we had some reasonable rain, but basically we escaped the whole thing.
I needn't have worked so hard.
Chris