The night-time intruder
March 29th 2009 21:54
In the middle of the night, as all in our house are sleeping, something is creeping in through the back door. It has happened several times recently, the evidence of the alien presence clear for all to see in the morning light.
Greyhounds were bred as hunting hounds. They have senses which have been honed over more than 3,000 years. They can see prey up to 500 metres away. They can see small, fluffy dogs up to three continents away. Darkness is no impediment — I have caught Scratchy in the basement at midnight reading the fine print on the dog food pack.
Their hearing is equally acute. They know well before I do when my wife comes home from work each evening because they hear her leave her office in the city.
And they are the second-fastest land animal on Earth.
Our night-time intruder is too quiet for our greyhounds. Or too fast. Or invisible.
It comes in through the sliding door from the rear deck, a door left open so the dogs, which sleep on the sofas, can go outside at night if needed. The sofas are in full view of the door.
The intruder makes his way into the open-plan kitchen, laughing softly, no doubt, at the sleeping dogs still in plain view. In the kitchen, he climbs onto the island bench, and from there he climbs into the fruit bowl.
He prefers apples.
It may be a rat, but we think it's probably a possum.
possum images: mwenda.com, sgaonline.org.au
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
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Something would come in of an eve and eat the apple, wouldn't it.
I hope you don't get an eviction notice, Chris.
Comment by Chris Champion
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That was punny.
Me too.
Comment by Anonymous
I'm a fosterer for GAP S.A., our resident hounds are great fans of your Scratchy and Daisy, Clyde writes a regular letter for the S.A. GAP newsletter inspired in part by your Blog, though I'm afraid he's not got quite your elegant turn of phrase.
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
Comment by Chris Champion
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Many thanks for the information and the compliment
I am a South Australian myself, so a big hello to Clyde and all the hounds at GAP SA.
Talking to people around here, the consensus now is, as you say, that our intruder is a rat. We inherited a rat, resident of the back shed, when we bought the house nine months ago. We also inherited some rat bait, but I think he eats that for breakfast and has a good laugh.
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
Y'know Kylie, sometimes I get real flummoxed by things. Y'know how I us'ter like ther Missus readin' Princess Pretzel to us?
Well ther Missus now reads us an even better one by a bloke called Chris Champion about Scratchy an' Daisy whot you told her abaht. It's real good'oh, but I got worried abaht the last one where Scratchy had a gutser an knocked ther stufin' out uv Daisy an' Daisy sed rude things ter him.
We've got a real elegant Greyhound girl called Abby fosterin' here at ther moment an' she an' Heidi get on real well. Heidi is me good mate most uv ther time but sometimes she acts like she thinks she's Christmas on a stick an she's real rude ter me too. When ther Missus read abaht poor Scratchy wantin' a tickle an' gettin inter trouble frum Daisy, Heidi gave Abby a look an said "Huh, Boy dogs, aren't they impossible" an I said, "Hang on, he dun mean ter come a cropper, Daisy dun haf ter be so rude, I reckon I should write ter Scratchy an tell him I think he's bonza". Then Heidi laughed at me an' said "What d'yer think this is? Bush Week? She said I wuldn' know how ter write ter him an even if I did he wuldn' unnerstan' anything I said. She said he's a real city slicker, she said he knows all ther real big words like Daisy used at him, an dun talk busd lingo like mine.
I sed "But aren't most uv ther Greyhounds city slickers? Dun they unnerstan me lingo?" an Heidi seys they are an they dunt! Yer just puts me letter in ter fill up space! Kylie I dun know whether I'm counter sunk or punch drilled, I'm all over the shop an out uv sorts. Is Heidi right or jus showin off ter Abby an feedin me a load uv old cobblers? Der yer know if people want ter read me letters or do they think I've got a couple uv 'roos loose in ther top paddock an I'm as borin as bat shit? Geeze, I feel like a Bandicoot on a burnt ridge, I like writin' ter yu But I dun wunt ter be a berk. I tells yer what though. I dun care what Heidi says about Scratchy. Daisy hurt his feelin's. Hev yer seen terdays bit? It ses he likes hidin his head. I reckon he's feelin as flat as a tack 'cos uv what Daisy sed an he's hidin' his head 'cos she's dark at him.
I still want ter tell him I think he's Bonza.
Can yer ask people if they like me stuff? I'll pull me head in if they wunt me to.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Would you let me delete it as a comment and use it as a new post? I'd explain that it is written by guest columnist Clyde. Sound okay?
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
If you want to see more of his efforts go to the GAP S A. website <www.gapsa.org.au> and click on newsletter on the left hand side of the page. He was first published in July/August 2008.
Comment by Heidi/Clyde
So if you want to please Heidi and get pictures you'll have to direct me how.