Writer's block
September 10th 2008 00:01
I'm thinking of renaming my greyhounds Roadblock and Bollard.
Most of the greyhound literature I have read talks about the positive characteristics of the breed: they are clean, gentle, loving, smart, great with kids, don't need a lot of exercise and can dig backyard holes so deep that they regularly find oil or gold.
But no literature I have seen tells the whole truth, which is that every time you try to move anywhere in your home, your way will be blocked.
It is true that greyhounds spend approximately 110 per cent of every day asleep on the sofa, waking rarely and then only long enough to fluff the cushions. Generally, you can turn on the television, vacuum the carpet, rebuild the house - they will sleep right through it.
Try to move somewhere purposefully, however, such as to the bathroom, and you will find the way blocked.
My greyhounds follow me everywhere. I can write in the study for three hours and the dogs will sleep soundly the whole time, the quiet broken only by the occasional sound of a cushion being fluffed. And then, inevitably, the thought enters my mind that a visit to the bathroom might be a good idea. I push back my desk chair, and there they are: Roadblock and Bollard.
They are fast alright. They move at the speed of thought.
"Get out of the way," I pleed, "I need to pea. I'm so desperate I can't spell any more."
"Dear pack leader," they reply, "we shall not be moved. Three thousand years of breeding have brought us to this point. We gather around you out of affection and respect and the possibility of food. Look at the cute way we lean into you to impress upon you our dedication and resolve."
You know those ceramic potties they used to keep under beds at night? Do you know where I can get one?
| 35 |
| Vote |
Shared on
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I sometimes have my friend’s dog over for the day, both for company for my Pest and to alleviate some of my dog guilt that he doesn’t have company. Fergal (my pooch) is pretty good at moving out of the way, he knows the signs, but Fritz doesn’t. He stands there, in a typical pose, like yours, his big brown-eyes communicating his plea to stay. One time, I had to slide him across the room out of the way.
Maybe an underground tunnel to the toilet is the answer...
Comment by Chris Champion
moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists
An underground tunnel to the toilet sounds like a sewer
Yes, greyhounds are big on relaxing. They are bred for short bursts of energy, and that's it for the day. Take them to the park and watch them run around for five minutes, and then they are knackered!
Regards,
Chris
PS "Fergal" is a geat name for a pooch.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Aha, short bursts of energy, that makes sense. Fergs plays with one in the park and it flops down quicker than him.
My husband chose the name, it's far better than some of his other dodgy ones, Atlas and Amadeus
Comment by Chris Champion
moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
NewlyOld
The Blog of Lists
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life