Scratchy! No!
February 27th 2011 05:10
Repeat after me please, I must not eat peaches off the tree.
I am in my study when I hear a shout from the rear of the house.
My wife is bellowing: “Scratchy! No!”
It’s a common enough shout around here. Scratchy could have been eating peaches from the peach tree. He could have been eating stuff he ate yesterday, if you get my meaning. He could have been drinking from the tub in which water-dwelling plants are being propagated. He could have been rubbing his chin on the fern tree. He could have been walking through the middle of the fern garden.
Or he may have created a new reason to yell his name. He’s good at that.
So I don’t think it is a drama when I hear my wife shout. I go on working.
One minute later I sense that I am being watched. I look up and Scratchy is at the study door. His body is still in the hallway, but his long neck is craned around the doorway, and he is looking directly, and challengingly, at me.
“Did you hear that!” he seems to be saying. “Is that any way to treat a gentle creature, a loved pet, a cherished family member?”
“Bugger off, Scratchy,” I say. “I have no doubt you deserved to be yelled at.”
Scratchy sighs, turns and heads for a favourite sleeping place. His shoulders seem down a bit. “Oh well,” his body language seems to say, “I tried.”
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Comment by Anonymous
Roux 'b Doux
(yes I've been here before)
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
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Bloggercises
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Newly Old
Money Whither
Actually, it's the peach tree getting the short end of the stick
Comment by heidiclyde
Dear Roux,
We've missed you, we presumed you had fallen off the planet but here you are back again!
But Roux my dear, what are you thinking? Presuming that Scratchy needs your sympathy?
He is a BOY dog, Roux. One of the world's natural idiots. Born to do stupid things and not learn from his mistakes. Of course he is in trouble again and getting the short end of the stick.
Mind you, much of the above does not apply to Clyde, he is by definition a natural idiot and pretty stupid at times but he's so laid back he doesn't know how to get into trouble, a bit boring really. Sometimes I envy Daisy her daily opportunities to look smug and demure as Scratchy is being yelled at yet again.
Many tail wags and licks,
Heidi.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Just because they like to leave them about three months longer than I do. If you wait until they get all soft, they just dribble down your chin. I like 'em green and hard.
Passing the pips ain't much fun, though.
Scratch
Comment by heidiclyde
When you say "like I wasn't here" perhaps we should define "here". By your acts, one of which you so graphically describe above, you confirm that you are certainly NOT all there or here if you prefer. As you are not all there it seems to me to be quite appropriate to talk about you on the assumption that the important bit, that is the brain, is what is missing!
with kind regards for your demented self,
Heidi.
P.S. Chris, regarding your recent blogercises post, the "create comment"page has been altered so someone must have popped in for a couple of minutes to do that, not for long enough to reply to you though it would seem.
Jennie.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Peaches and screams, Chris.
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
Money Whither
Sometimes, when I've eaten a lot of unripe grapes, the juices of which have had a little time to ferment, I find myself understanding the things you say. But only at those times.
Respectfully,
Scratchy
Comment by TanyaMary
I hear you buddy, I really do. If you substitute your name with mine in that little story your big boss was telling then it would be spot on. My weaknesses though may be a little different to yours. I do like scratching my neck but on the screen door. It makes a great racket when I do too. "Lynx, no" I like to check out the kitchen regularly just in case any food has magically appeared in my absence "Lynx, no" I like to sniff the bin and stick my nose in "Lynx, no", I regularly visit Tanya in the little room when she is less than able to respond to me "Lynx,no" and lastly, I have developed a taste for tomatoes, cucumbers and mushrooms so I hang around when dinner is being prepared, just in case "Lynx, NO" ( I get the water sprayer for that one.)
I'm hearing you buddy, I really am.
Lynx
Comment by heidiclyde
D'yer do yer fosterin' time? Whut yer on abaht? Ut's foster hounds whut's still learnin ther ropes whut gets yelled at. Like Pirate what's just cum here, bin'ere two ruddy days an's bin yelled at fer stealin food more often'n any other hound. Went ter ther Vets tenight ufter scoffin 6 corn cobs frum ther scrap bucket an 12 muffins coolin on ther bench. He looked like he were goin ter clag ther bag when ther Missus fahnd'im. Ther Vet giv'd him a jection an sum parrafin an he's miserable as er bandicoot on er burnt ridge now but ther Missus ses he's better.
Scratch, I gived Heidi whut for fer bein so plurry rude ter yer but she's on ther nail mate. I reckons yer've not enough sense ter cum in aht uv ther rain ef yer go on eatin them peach pits, they get stuck in yer gut an it'll be more than an injection an parrafin fer you an cost yer bosses big bickies ter get em aht.
Runnin through ther fern garden though, thut's ther bosses problem, ther Boss an Missus put a fence arahnd ours, runnin us whut Greyhounds do an we can't be stoppin jus fer plants. An Lynx tell yer missus ter shut the little room door ef she dun like yer in there, Greyhounds always like to share with their hoomans.
But geeze mates, give yer hoomans er break ova ther other stuff! Most hoomans dun seem ter know whut they wunt frum one moment ter ther next, I reckons they could'n catch er fly in er country dunny half ther time, so go easy on them fer er change, eh?
See yer rahnd ther traps,
Clyde.
Comment by TanyaMary
Found this floating around the net.
Really Long Link
Aren't Greyhounds the best people
Tanya
Comment by Roux 'b Doux
I and Me
Just Writing
Lynx nice to meet you, you sound like Max, the shrimp. He's cute and makes mom laugh but dumb! and of course a BOY. Gads.
Much love, Roux 'b Doux