Patting thin air
August 17th 2011 07:32
Okay, I'm ready for that pat now.
My hand found only thin air.
I looked and Scratchy had lowered himself into a languid stretch, the sort greyhounds are so perfectly built to do.
“Hold that pat,” he said, “while I stretch.”
I switched my attention back to the screen but eventually, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him straighten up, and I reached out a hand.
My hand found only thin air again.
Little Boss had walked past the study in the direction of the kitchen and Scratchy had bolted after her.
“Hold that pat,” he barked back at me, “while I check what’s happening in food central.”
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Chris Champion
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Money Whither
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by INDIOSDAD
Good job buddy. Whats with the hooman it's his job to chase us to give a pat or a pet where ever we go what ever we do he's got to do it for us. You keep up the good work there Down Under and I'll do the same here we have to unite to keep these hoomans under our paws.
OK Scratch I have a question. Why is it called Down Under? Down Under what? If it's Down under there then what is it here. Up over the hooman says he is over a hill is and is none too happy about it. I know going over the fence is a bad thing. Hoomans talk funny. To me it's here at my house and there at your house or Clydes house.
Mr Norm my hooman dont understand the hair thing course he don't got much hair any more the picture here is old and he is mostly hairless now and what he's got is grey as a 15yr old Greyhounds puss.
Your Bud
Naboo
Comment by Heidiclyde
It really is a bit of a problem deciding whether to go for the food or the pat isn't it? Though on second thoughts in your case there isn't much of a problem is there? Pats can always wait I suppose.
Clyde is wondering why you left the big boss, in his case pats (or to be more accurate ear rubs) always come first. He is also wondering about Naboo's comments. He says "Geeze Naboo, dun yer ged'ud? Ut's Dahn Unda cos uts unda yer paws." So I asked him why Naboo land wasn't down under too and he said "In'ut? Cripes ah dunno." I like the idea that you may be Up Over but that raises the question of Up Over what? As you say hoomans don't like being over the hill and we know being over the fence is bad so where does that leave you? Perhaps you had better join us in Down Under to be safe.
In the meantime Clyde is wanting to know why 15 year old Greyhounds get to have their own pusses? He used to have two that slept on his trainers bed with him when he was a race dog (yes we all know that real racing Greyhounds don't sleep on their trainer's bed with the family cats but Clyde just did) and he'd like to have one again and he doesn't care what colour it is. The Missus says she doesn't want a cat and I'd kill it anyway so he's not going to get one even if he does live till he's 15.
Poor old Clyde, sometimes the world is a pretty confusing place when you have a limited vocabulary!
tail wags and ear rubs to you both,
Heidi.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Big Boss says "Down Under" is a colloquialism. I'm not sure what that means. Probably "place with insufficient food".
Sniffs,
Scratch
Comment by Chris Champion
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When you say "It really is a bit of a problem deciding whether to go for the food or the pat isn't it?" you're kidding, right? A dog can not live on bread alone. He needs marrow bones, fat scrapings, kibble, marrow bones, toast, kibble, marrow bones, roast pumpkin (yum!) and marrow bones, to name a few.
Remember the wise words of Conpoochius: never let a pat get in the way of a good feed.
If course, Conpoochy could do with a good sub-editor. The word "good" in that sentence is redundant.
Wags,
Scratch
PS I nearly forgot: and marrow bones.
Comment by Heidiclyde
You forgot bacon rind and cheese and sardines. Even Clyde will leave a good ear rub for cheese, he disdains sardines though so that means more for me. Our foster dog Brandy gets most of the sardines at the moment as she's got dry skin, I keep telling the Missus I've got dry skin too but she doesn't listen. Life is so hard sometimes.
Brandy is learning about home life. Yesterday she investigated the little room, most foster dogs think it is for a big drinking bowl but Brandy found a white fluffy thing on the wall, she's beginning to like picking up fluffy things and taking them for a walk so she grabbed the tail of this thing and ran off with it.
The Missus says it is lucky it stopped following her when she back tracked, Brandy had a lovely time and the Missus must have thought it was a clever trick because she laughed a lot. Then she rolled the fluffy stuff up again (or at least what was left of it) and found a fluffy bone for Brandy to carry around the house.
Licks,
Heidi.
Comment by INDIOSDAD
Once again two peoples or in this case Greyhounds seperated by a common language. Here in the States when we use the term PUSS like Naboo did it refers to the face. Like he got punched in the PUSS. We call cats kittys or puddy cat.
Brandy sounds like fun I think chasen the fluffy stuff is like a good thing. Our hooman dosen't do fosters cause he aint no good at it every time he has tried it excep once he kept the dog.
We know who to go to in this house and thats the lady boss. Everytime she gets up and goes into the food cooking room we get a treat. The male human calles her the ATM (AUTOMATIC TREAT MOM) we think she is the bestest. You get bacon rind for snackies WOW I think I would like living there.
HAPPY
Comment by Heidiclyde
ut's er good bit since ahve bin jaggin, er's yer bin?
Strikes me thut ef Naboo ment ther 15 year old Greyhound's moosh why dun he say so? I reckons my pussy friends ut Mick's place would'n wan'ter be called someone's face, geeze sum hoomans uv gut er face like er chewed up buffalo hide an Heidi reckons I've got er head like er bucket uv smashed crabs. Yer would'n want summat like thut named ufter'yer wood'ya?
An Happy, thut abaht yor Boss nut doin fosterin'? Yer missin aht on er real good wicket. Ther foster hounds all hev ter learn manners an who get's ter teach'em? Me an Heidi, thut's who, an when we dun good we gets treats.
Readin yer stuff, yer may not need ther foster hounds ut yer place but. Sahnds like yer lady boss us er real soft touch. Yeah, we dus get bacon rinds but we has ter do good stuff half ther time ef we wants treats. Geeze ther Missus us er tough nut ter crack.
All'a same Happy,foster hounds uz good-oh. Ut's bonza meetin'em all. Yer should'a seen Brandy terdie. We's aht walkin up ther track next ter er paddock uv sheep an er 'roo pokes ut's head up frum ther bush ova ther fence. Ut were er real nice lookin buck but Brandy dunno whut she's lookin ut. She spins in circles an wants ter chase ut. Ther Missus ses no an ther 'roo lopes off, an we do too, an ther silly Galah follows us! Brandy us er bit uv er handful an Heidi thinks she'll join in an I says "pull yer silly heads in yer wombats, ther Missus us gunna end doin her block" an they think they'll settle dahn er bit an then ther roo takes off like er fart in er bottle so thut idea dies in ther arse pretty quick! Then ther Missus really does her block an ses her firmest "STOP" an even Brandy reckons ther game's ova. She were grinnin like er shot fox but, an I reckons ther Missus were too, she says we wus all good hounds, I got extra ear rubs an cheese when we got home but.
See yer rahnd ther traps,
Clyde.