Dog bites dog: Scratchy's version
June 27th 2009 02:36
I'll never understand bitches.
See, there's one I've met a couple of times at the park. Her human calls her Tiger but Short Black calls her Little Brindle. I like Tiger.
She looks like me but that's not why I like her. I like her, I think, because, well ... aw, I don't know, I can't think of the right words.
I can't think of any words at all when I see her. I get all-tongue tied . When she runs I'm okay though. I know how to do that.
That's what she did two mornings ago and I chased her and it was so much fun. But then, I don't know why, I got excited and gave her a nip except it was way too hard and I hurt her.
And she got annoyed — very, very annoyed — and bit me back. She bit me harder than I bit her, and in a much more sensitive spot. I mean, you don't know pain until someone sinks teeth into your nose.
But worse, much worse, was the realisation of what an idiot I'd been. I'd bitten the bitch I fancied.
I really needed some quiet time then; I wanted to hide my face because for a moment there I thought I might ...
Anyway, I found a quiet corner and stood there cursing my stupidity when — you'll never believe this — she came over and said she hoped she hadn't hurt me too much. I couldn't stop myself then — there was a rush of feelings and a tear or two squeezed out and do you know what she did? She just stood there, shoulder to shoulder, and said it was okay.
I can't stop thinking about her.
Hey, wouldn't it be cool if the bite on my nose turned into a scar and then I'd have a permanent reminder of her.
Previously: Little Boss's version of the story, Daisy's version of the story
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
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Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
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Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Chris Champion
Vyoos
Zoomies
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Money Whither
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
I am.
I am.
I am.
I am.
Comment by Roux
Scratchy, Zeus had a scar on his nose but wouldn't tell me how he got it. Maybe he had a bitch he liked and bit too hard too. Anyway, I can promise, if you like someone, don't bite too hard, I did that to Zeus and he bit me right back, mom told us both to cut it out, but I don't know what she meant by that. Anyway we made up and I could pull on his ears after that but I had to be sure not to bite them.
SO, from now on, try to keep the excitement level down, why you like her, I don't know either, why did I like Zeus, he was a real dog, you know, but he was really handsome, in a big goofy way.
Roux
Comment by Chris Champion
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I'll try really, really hard not to bite her next time, I promise.
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I may admit to helping Roux type sometimes, as I'm sure Chris helps Scratchy and Daisy, but write for them, heaven forbid, never happen.
Roux, says, "Woof, Woof! Rwoff, and Rrrrowff," at the thought, and adds a cute wag just to be sure you don't take offense at her comments.
Comment by Chris Champion
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its like youve penetrated the mind of the guy who used to call me Morgie Smorgie haha
so thats why some people continually re-open old wounds
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Ha ha. Very funny.
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Comment by Heidi/Clyde
We dun get ter ther compooter fer a garbla days an yer goes an gets ther rough end uv ther pineapple agen.
I dunno, Ther hoomans carry on like a bunch uv drongos when yer feelin like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge an need a bit uv er tummy rub, wouldn' ut give yer ther rip?
Tiger sounds like a real bonza sheila, I knows how yer feels, I'm a bit rugged when I gets woken up, I growls en that, an I sounds like a real grumpy bastard. I dun mean ter do ut but I dun see so good an I takes a while ter get ther old mud pies workin.
Anyways, we had this bobby dazzler uv er bitch fosterin here called Celeste, she were one out uv ther box an I'm real sweet on her, ut's goin along good oh an I' hopin ther Missus us goin ter keep her when she bumps me when I'm asleep. Shirty ding bat thut I am I jumps up an gives her a real serve before I see ut's her. So then she's nervous as a mother 'roo in a room full uv pick pockets an I'm up shit creek without er paddle. She did a bunk ter her ferever home ufter thut. I'm a real berk. Tells yer what. Uf yer cun work out how ter stop bitin cin yer pass ut on? I wuldn' mind ut i I could stop this growlin lark.
D'yer wunt ter know n why we dun get ter ther compooter? Ther missus has bin arsein' about gettin her choks ready fer a show, silly galah, cun yer think uv anythin more useless then showiin' chooks? they dun even have ter run, just look good. Hers did en one uv them won ther big one but ut wern't as good as me at ther races, ther Missus told me thut.
Clyde.