The chaser
January 27th 2012 22:57
Is that a ball I see before me?
DAISY: It is beneath the dignity of greyhounds to chase balls. Like the great Scratchy before me, balls have no interest. One may point to the day Scratchy jumped on a beach ball, bit it, then looked puzzled as it emitted a sigh and collapsed, but this was an exception to the rule. Also one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
No, dear puppies, hear my words: greyhounds do not chase balls. Instead, we chase dreams and wild things. Once upon a time we were trusted friends of Arabian desert princes and chased gazelles and anything which approached our camp in the night. We were fleet of foot and sharp of eye and hearing, protectors of our world.
We are a noble breed, born to elite roles of athleticism. We do not chase balls.
LARRY: I never knew anything could be this much fun. Quick, throw it again.
It was a ball, so let me show you what I think of that.
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Comment by Gracie
wags,
Gracie May
Comment by Chris Champion
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LARRY: Really? Hooray! Great dog with a great name, in my opinion. Could it be that only the best greyhounds enjoy ball-chasing? Y'know, top 10 percentile or so?
DAISY: Growl.
LARRY: Aw Daze, I'm just kidding you. Don't get your tail in a twist.
Comment by INDIOSDAD
It is perfectly OK to chase a ball when a hooman throws it ( heaven knows they are simple minded creatures and it takes so little to entertain them) The idea is that you get the bloody thing run right past them take it into the house to your room and bury it in your bed. Never repeat NEVER return to the hooman with the ball and give it back. They threw it away it is now yours and they do not get to play with your toys. As a matter of fact everything in the house is yours YOU are the Greyhound and they are there only to serve you.
Take the time to properly train Larry so he does not ruin the hard work all the Greyhounds in the past have done.
Larry; Listen to Daisy she knows best and will teach you the right way of things. Do not get too soft on the hoomans you have a very big job to do to make sure they stay in their place.
OK lecture over for today.
Larry are you happy in your new forever home? Are you getting enough toast in the morning and treats from the treat jar. If only we had thumbs we wouldnt need them. Remember eat all your food and enjoy it.
Naboo
Comment by Chris Champion
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Well, all except Daisy. "This," she said, "requires some thought."
Anyway, mate, thanks for the thoughts. Life's good, except for the fact that I only get half a slice of toast in the morning.
Comment by Heidiclyde
Larry plays ball? Oh dear Daisy, I'm afraid that does tend to suggest he belongs to the intelligent boys club. We've had quite a few foster hounds here that enjoyed chasing the little round things and they've almost all of them been intelligent males. Mr. Tee was the first and he was a fine figure of a hound, adored the carpet grubs, picked up the house rules really quickly and was generally a pleasure to have around. Bailey our first Nursing home hound played ball and so did Dazzler who went to a really big nursing home. I think even Roman, he of the noble nose, played ball. He was smart enough to pick his new forever friend out for himself and make sure the hoomans understood what he wanted. Personally I can't understand the fascination myself, give me a soft squeaky toy to pounce on and throw around anytime but I'm willing to allow that they can be fun.
On the other hand I think Naboo might be on the wrong track, According to Mr. Tee it is essential to return the ball to the hooman to begin with so that they are forced to continue throwing it for you until you've had enough. It is at that point that you hide it. This has two purposes, it lets you finish the game when you are ready to and it prevents the hooman washing off all that nice gooey slobber you've managed to put onto it. Do understand that I am not a connoisseur of the game myself but Mr. Tee certainly was so I'd be inclined to believe him.
Tummy rubs for you both,
Heidi.
Comment by Chris Champion
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I can see two white feet on a black grey in that picture, so it must be me and not Daisy. Two questions, however:
1. Who's the bloke and does he want to come to the park in the morning?
2. Why doesn't he throw the ball? (I've been watching him for 10 minutes and he's just standing there!)
Larry
Comment by Chris Champion
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Comment by Heidiclyde
Scratchy and Daisy had an open invitation to come and play with us in our orchard any time they liked, obviously now that invitation must be to Daisy and you (I think Scratchy might have already found his way here, sometimes there's this feeling when I do my race around the trees that a big brindle is running with me).
This is a picture of the start of a winter romp in our orchard,
and this is how it developed.
As you can see, we often have visitors (There were actually 7 of us that day but Hulk was more interested in the smells than having his picture taken).
On other matters, didn't you say that you had three white feet? I suspect too that you would fit inside Mr. Tee in the picture, he is a big boy, we catch up with him each year at the Christmas parade in Norwood. The man in the picture is the Boss, my favourite person, he has an unfortunate habit of going away to work and it is ages before he comes back again. Best of all is when the Missus takes us up to join him.
Go give your boss a lick from me,
Heidi.
Comment by Heidiclyde
And I should have said "Give your Bosses a lick", They both deserve one though of course I don't have quite the raport with Little Boss that I do with my darling Chris.
Heidi.
Comment by Heidiclyde
Hey Mate, Has either'uv yer bosses made Beyleigh Tucker f'yer yet? I dun go f'food much but geeze thut stuff is good freshly made. Ther Missus did up er big batch uv'ut yes'di, Smashin big warm chunks in ther dinner bowls, Cripes ut were good. Din eat mu'dry food but, dun wunna spoil ther taste uv ther tucker.
Yer mate,
Clyde.
Comment by Rumble
wags
Rumble
Comment by Heidiclyde
P'r aps thut's why I dun chase balls? Gi'me a lure anytime. Yer sees ther red tail flying in ther wind us ther gates open, yer hart starts ter pump like mad,yer feet hilt ther track an yer flyin' too! Nuthin like ut Rumble mate. Bein er GAP dog's er great lark bud'ut dun beat racin.
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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I'm on my way. Do I turn left or right out my gate?
Comment by Chris Champion
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I reckon Big Boss kept the wrong component.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Comment by Heidiclyde
What you have to do is look at the Big Boss very hard and think sad homesick thoughts. Hopefully these will transfer to him and he'll start saying things like, "I wonder how old Adelaide is going?" I've not been home to South Australia for ages." and maybe even "Perhaps we should go and see how Mum is doing?" When he says things like that you start thinking "Heidi and Clyde" at him. There's a slim chance all this will have an affect and you and Daisy might get a long trip in the car. Once in Adelaide it's only a skip and a hop (about 2 hours of skipping and hopping the Missus tell me but that's irellevant) up to our orchard. Good luck with this, we'd be delighted to show you and Daisy around but unfortunately unless our Hoomans co-operate we haven't much chance of ever meeting each other. We do at least live on the same continent, and can dream of meeting some day. Meeting Snoopy and Naboo is totally impossible because they live in America which is trillions of miles away.
Your friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Comment by Heidiclyde
Does that mean you're going to come and visit me?
The Missus likes to have a talk over a cup of tea, she can provide the tea and I'll talk to you, all right?
Don't forget to bring Larry and Daisy, and little Boss too. I'm so excited, my plan is working already!!! Hooray for Larry!!
Your loving friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Rumble
wags and licks,
Rumble the greyhound
Comment by Chris Champion
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To be honest, the chances of visiting Adelaide with the dogs are not huge. Don't bet your next bone on it. Sorry.
Chin scratch,
Chris
Comment by Chris Champion
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I just went to look at Gracie May's blog and it's funny and entertaining and even informative. I particularly like the pictures. Our good friend Naboo lives in America too, but never told us that all your grass and all your trees are white. You'll never guess, but in Australia grass is green and trees are brown!
Even more amazing is that all the cars in America are white too. You will be astonished to know that in Australia we have cars of many colours!
I also adore how Gracie May calls her humans Annoying Kid and BedBuddy. That's too cool. I might call a meeting with Larry to discuss name changes for our Bosses. Little Boss could become Big Smile and Big Boss could become Little Feeder (I think I can hear Scratchy laughing at that one).
Tickles,
Chris
Comment by Heidiclyde
Have you been looking at buying a business in Tasmania recently? Your link to Gracie May's blog suggests that you have. I'm assuming that either Larry or Daisy wrote that blog then put your name on it to tease you. That being the case it is not surprising that the blog link is inaccurate but we are all intrigued at the possibility that you are planning to move south. GAP Tasmania is very small and quite new so they'd be delighted to welcome you I'm sure.
Jennie,
Comment by Heidiclyde
I am very sad. Not even one of the hounds? Couldn't Daisy come over just for a visit? I could ask Angela if she'd lend you the GAP dog trailer if that would help? Perhaps you and little Boss can visit us one day, even if you don't have them with you? Then I could at least smell them on you.
Why did you say youd wanted to talk with me if you aren't coming to visit me?
Your puzzled and unhappy friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Heidiclyde
Bit'uv er funny bugger unt'yer, writin' ter Rumble then sayin' yer wuz Chris? Bit'uv'er lark eh?
Wha'da'ya mean abaht grass bein green but? Up our way ut's yeller, ony turns green when ut's cold an wet. Yer dun walk aht int'er long yeller grass cos there ma'be Joe Blakes ahrand.
I dun reckon yer'orda change the bosses names, they're Big Boss an Little Boss, jus'like we've got ther Boss an ther Missus, mucks things up ef'yer goes an changes names like thut.
See'ya,
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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The link has been fixed, but how embarrassing! Only a handful of people in the world know - or so I thought - about our secret plans, and look what I've done!
Gotta laugh.
Anyway, yes, I've started some enquiries about buying that business and moving to Tassie for a lifestyle change. It may come to nothing and we may not move for a year or three, or it might happen and off we go to a new life adventure.
All quite exciting really.
Thanks again for finding my blooper.
C
Comment by Heidiclyde
The Missus says what an exciting possibility this is for you but that you may not have a lot of time for Zoomies if you do it. She also says Tasmania is overseas like France and California. We never see Bruce and Ange and their brand new ankle biter who live in France because it is too far away and we know we'll never see Happy and Naboo in California. At least in Melbourne we have some hope of you coming to visit us. I am now utterly downhearted.
I shall go and sooth my aching heart by stealing Clyde's bed for the day.
Heidi.