Mop Press: New Clyde found
November 5th 2010 01:58
Daisy: They are stealing our ideas, if not our thunder, in Hollywood.
Scratchy: So long as they aren't stealing our food.
Daisy: A woman named Jaime van Wye has opened a dog “social petworking club” and called it Zoom Room. She may have wanted to call it Zoomies, but found the name taken.
Scratchy: I joined a social networking club once. We swapped recipes.
Daisy: Petworking, not networking. It’s a play on words, Scratchy, something you’ve probably never heard of. Anyway, van Wye also has a dog named Clyde.
Scratchy: Hey, that name's taken!
Daisy: Correct. Let it be known that Clyde is a Platinum Card-carrying Friend of Zoomies. And that's not him in the photographs with Jaime. Our Clyde has more manageable hair.
Scratchy: If she insists on using her Clyde in promotional shots, she should rename her business Groomies.
Daisy: Scratchy, that's a play on words! It's also the first time in all your six years that you have expressed a sentiment completely unrelated to food. Can we expect more of such wit, erudition and worldly connection?
Scratchy: How long to dinner?
San Francisco Chronicle; images: Associated Press
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Comment by Jessiesmum
luv Jessica
BTW Lynx...thanx for our play this morning..had a great time..What was wrong with Beyleigh this morning??? having one of her snobby days??? She just wouldn't play with me no matter how much i danced around her!!! glad you and Commander were here to play with...but what's with the barking thing??? I DONT BARK..
Comment by TanyaMary
Barking is a great way to get attention. Whenever there's food around I find that if you get the hoomans attention you are more likely to get some. Can't say it's worked for me yet, but I keep trying. BTW, got your attention didn't it.
As for Beyleigh, she's just in one of her moods, bath day brings that out in her. Since we got home she's pretty much back to normal. Sleeping.
I always have fun on those days though despite the blow dryer. Don't know why everyone goes on about that.
See yas in a couple of weeks
Lynx
Comment by Jessiesmum
Licks for now,
Jessica
Comment by heidiclyde
Come in spinner, Scratchy ol mate. Yer've bin had an thuts ther drum.
I'm still me an thut illywacker ent even er real dog. Look ut ut! D'yer know any self respectin' dog wha'tud look as daggy as thut? Or what'ud let ther Missus pick ut up like thut? An take er good ol Cap'n Cook ut thut second picture, d'yer see any head? Pig's bum ut's er dog, uts just er plurry mop with er black hole where ther noggin or'ta be. Heidi reckons ut's just ther biggest fluffy toy in ther world.
Dunno how ut does ther A-frame but. I does thut ut Dog Club, Heidi reckons no fluffy toy can do thut not even a monster sized one. She ses thut picture's orl done by mirrors.
Hey Lynx, yer actin ther goat by barkin', fair dinkum. Thuts whut or'nary dogs do, us hounds only does ut when we wants ter race, or just er bit ter remind ther Boss an Missus we still can.
See,ya,
CLYDE!
Comment by Chris Champion
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When you say:
I think you answered the question, and I think you're right. It's called a ????
Comment by Chris Champion
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What's a blow dryer? My guess is it's something used in the preparation of dry food.
I know, I'm clever, aren't I.
Scratch
Comment by Chris Champion
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I wasn't had. I knew that wasn't you. You couldn't look like that if you had a huge fright after a long bath.
I tell what it looks a bit like - Big Boss storming out the bedroom door at 5.30am if I inadvertently whine a bit loudly about the imminence of breakfast.
Bestest,
Scratch
Comment by Chris Champion
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Comment by heidiclyde
Geeze I'm glad we live with ther Boss an Missus not Big Boss if he ever looks like thut!
D'yer think I've gotta get like whot ther Big Boss says thut Clyde is like if he's got my name? I cun do ther remember fer ages bit. I still remember Brenda what owned me when I was racin', but Guard dog, wary uv strangers, walk fer ages through ther bush? Ferget ut!
I dunno whether I'm Arthur or Martha ova this stuff, I can't be Martha though, she's our foster hound.
Me brain's bushed, I'm gunna sleep on ut.
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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I'm with Heidi. I don't think it's a real dog.
Licks,
Daisy
Comment by Chris Champion
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Mate, I'm not sure Heidi and Daisy have this right. Typical sheilas, they just see the frizz and ignore the facts.
You're a boy: you'll see the common sense in my theory. See, it's an old breed, right? And they spent centuries hanging around looking after cows.
Well, it obvious, isn't it? Cow poo makes things grow, and komondors must have had lots of contact with cow poo (being dogs, they would have been naturally attracted to it because cow dung is also called pats).
So there they are, outside, pretty much permanently manured, so every time it rains their coat would grow expo, exponen, exponentcha ... heaps.
Obvious, really.
Wags,
Scratch
Comment by TanyaMary
The blow dryer is a thing similar to your hoomans sucking tube, only it blows, and is extremely noisy. It always comes after the soapy massage we get every firtnight. Big fan of a godd rub down, I am, but do they really need to use that horrible monster. Nowt wrong with a rubdown with a towel afterwards, is there?
Lynx
Comment by Chris Champion
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A monster full of hot air - sounds like Big Boss if I complain about the pathetic amount of food he gives me each night.
I'm with you on the towel rub. We get one of those if we get rained on during a walk. Delicious. I wish it rained very day.
S
Comment by heidiclyde
First you say your Big Boss looks like that Commodore thing, then you say he sounds like a monster full of hot air.
This is the Hooman who has just called me Darlingest Heidi and given me cuddles by e-mail? I can't believe such a sensitive man could be like that unless of course he is the hero of Beauty and the Beast and under a spell.
I think you may need to apologise; do remember, he who holds the food bowl rules the household. Hounds who enjoy their food should be a little wary of insulting the food provider, even if the offerings are a little on the skimpy side.
Do you think you could give Clyde a few lessons on food appreciation? He is an anorexic Greyhound, he walks away from his breakfast or dinner at least 3 or 4 times a week, and I suppose that now he's confused about that hairy thing taking his name from him it's only going to get worse. The Missus is always being told she should put some weight on him, she only wishes she could!
your friend,
Heidi.
Comment by heidiclyde
Yeah, ut makes sense, yor cow poo idea . D'yer reckon thut other stuff ud grow in there too? Whut if ther hooman goes an drops er plum stone onter ther dog? Or sprinkles ut with grass seeds? Y'know sometimes Heidi sez I've got gum trees growin aht uv me ears, I think she reckons I'm er bit uv er bush coot, with er coat like thut yer really could get stuff growin aht uv yer ears an tail an on yer back an everywhere!
Why'ud yer wan'ter name er forest uv er dog Clyde? Beats me! Bet I'd beat ut on ther track but.
Clyde.
Comment by Chris Champion
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A man's gotta eat. I had a dream once that my racing weight should be 32kg and my retirement weight should be 72kg. I'm a strong believer in dreams, so I reckon Big Boss, who keeps me at 38kg, is standing between me and my destiny.
S
Comment by Chris Champion
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Heidi has confided in me that you don't eat all your food; that quite often you just walk away without eating anything.
Mate, can you ask Heidi not to tell me things like that in future? Might give me nightmares.
Ta,
S
Comment by heidiclyde
I do sympathise, I too am on an unnecessarily restricted amount of food. Never the less I believe it pays to be polite to our food providers, I do win the occasional treats this way, I have first rights to the bacon rinds for instance.
It seems such a shame that Clyde leaves all that good food to waste. He ate his chicken neck this morning but no kibble, eagle eyes (aka The Missus) was watching but she was busy on the compooter tonight and I managed to steal 1/2 his kibble after he left it again, before she noticed. I got into trouble but my tummy feels good. The Missus has said the dread word though, diet, so more suffering.
I don't understand Clyde's philosophy of life. Imagine a dog who was coming an easy way out in front first in the annual GAP steeplechase cum obstacle course who dropped to 4th place because he had to stop and examine every part of the sausage before condescending to eat it!
He was so keen to win when he was racing you'd think he'd put his fussy food habits aside at least for that wouldn't you.
Sorry about the nightmares Scratchy but I had to get my frustration off my chest.
Maybe he'll eat a proper meal tomorrow.
Your friend,
Heidi.
Comment by Chris Champion
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Thank you for your considered and enjoyable comment. Let me reply one salient point at a time:
Occasional treats: Yum
Bacon rinds: Yum!
Chicken necks: Yum
Kibble: Yum
Eagle eyes: Haven't tried them
Sausage: Yum
Thanks again for such an enjoyable comment,
Scratchy
Comment by TanyaMary
I tried eagle eyes once (or at least sparrow and blackbird) I'm not too fussy in the food department either. Lets just say I will try to eat anything that will fit into my mouth....Yum.
Lynx
Comment by Chris Champion
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Lynx, mate, this is an admirable sentiment, but limited. What I would say is that I will try to eat anything that fits into my imagination.
Wags,
Scratchy